How rude!

Are people really to busy to be nice?? Today I was trying to forget that it was a holiday because they are still hard for me. One day I will get over it:-/ I had some errands to run and I needed to pick up an answering machine because once I have highspeed my home phone will actually ring...did you hear I am getting cable and highspeed? ;-) FOR FOOTBALL!! While running around the kids wanted to stop and get dinner at this little hole in the wall restaurant they like. When we got there the place was closed because of the stupid holiday BUT there was a cell phone in the parking lot so I picked it up. I called the home number and left a message that I had their cell and to call it and we could figure out how to get it back to them. I couldn't leave it at the restaurant because they were closed. We ended up trying out a different one that some friends suggested and that was even better because OH MY WORD THEY HAVE FRIED CHICKEN LIVERS!!! <----that was my middle child lol As we are driving home the owner of the cellphone called and just said "meet me at waffle house" and I explained that I have NO idea where that is and she needed to give me some directions. After telling her that I was near the Starbucks (I was so getting Starbucks) on Rockwell and NW Expressway she said she would meet me at Target. So I wait and wait and wait some more while sitting on the red benches with my 3 kids and 2 Target employees....If you know me I can't sit anywhere without becoming friends with whoever is sitting next to me and finding out their life story...I am so annoying like that! Anyway, the owner of the cell phone drives up and calls her cell ...when she sees I have it she hangs up and opens her car window and just takes it...she said NOTHING. My kids who were so tired of waiting said "now can we go home" and I told them that we could since she had her cell and the Target girl who is my new bff said "did you even know her?" so I explained I didn't but we had found the cell in a parking lot and I wanted her to have it back because *I* would be lost without my cellphone...can you imagine??!! Oh I can't even think about it lol All of a sudden the Target girl was upset FOR me and started fussing that the girl should have at least said thank you or something. The other Target girl said "well I KNOW God will bless you for that" and I told her that He has already blessed me greatly and even if I spent the rest of my life trying I could never thank Him enough for the things He has done.... But I don't know why rudeness still surprises me:-(

Something I never thought I would do

First I will tell you I believe in debt free living so I don't have credit cards and I don't like creating extra expenses. I have regular tv with rabbit ears with foil and dial up if that tells you anything! You could call me cheap but I am also very generous so I don't fit in just one category lol I am cheap with myself but will give you the shirt off my back if that helps explain me a little better:-) I know I am hard to explain and I have one person in my life:::::::::waving to Merci::::::::::that I think has given up so she just says "that is so Barbie"....I never know if that is good or not;-) Anyway, rewind to Saturday and I am so excited that football has started and I get to see OU play!! Then I realize they are on cable and I have antennas on my tv with foil lol...BOOOOO!!!!!....so I make plans with a friend that has Dish to go over her house and watch the game. Her husband was taking my boys to see a wrestling match so it worked out...oh and I needed to color my hair and she is a hairdresser so YAY for me lol So her and I hit Crest to buy football food and go back to her house and get ready...I am watching the time because I AM SO EXCITED! Then I find out it isn't on DISH! Stupid Dish people!! So I had to listen to it on the radio...I can't tell you how sad I was...oh wait yes I can because this is the conversation I had on Sunday.

Cox--hello can I help you?
me--yes I couldn't watch the OU game last night and that is unacceptable!
cox--laughing...we can help you with that
me--PLEASE DO IT NOW so this doesn't happen again EVER
cox--no problem ma'am...I see you already have phone with us so all I have to do it add cable and would you like highspeed?
me--I just want to see OU but how much?
cox--quotes some ridiculously low price
me--are you kidding? can you be here TODAY?
cox-no lol but we can be there during the week before the next OU game
me--that would be great but I work:-( do you have anything on the weekend?
cox--how about Saturday between 12-3?
me--hmm the game comes on at 11 but it is on ABC...hmm that is my dd birthday...hmm SURE lol
more info and we hang up

CAN YOU BELIEVE I just got cable for FOOTBALL?? ME?? the person who didn't even know what the line of scrimmage was...in my defense it kept moving and I am NOT kidding about that lol... I also had no clue what a down was or how many there were and I know I was a cheerleader in highschool but that didn't mean I knew what I was cheering for! We had a captain and we just cheered. Still last year I thought I would watch and see what the big deal was because the town closes down for football... here I am a year later getting cable and I am doing it for FOOTBALL!! Oh my word I AM an Okie:-P I may not be an Okie by birth but I sure am by choice:-D And I wouldn't change it because I LOVE it here:-D

Oh my!

I guess to explain why this amused me I have to give a little background. I grew up in a home with a Mom that has a strong New England accent. She grew up in Rhode Island and still takes the R's out of everything. My name is Bahh-bra to her:-) My father is from Alabama but is British and he likes to speak the "Kings English" so he uses words that aren't always used in everyday speech. I was born and raised in Florida where the majority aren't from there so I don't think *I* have an accent....Although when my stbx and I moved to South Florida from North Florida they thought we sounded like a couple of hicks so we might have a little one lol They only thought that because the further south you go in Florida the further north you are;-) That is where all the snow birds go to retire! Anyway, when I moved to Oklahoma I thought everyone had a cute little accent but I never expected to pick up any of the phrases or words that people use here. Then today at work I said POP for coke:-P Does this mean I am officially an Okie?? Where I am from we say coke for all flavors...we sometimes say soda but NEVER pop. We actually make fun of the folks that come around and ask for pop;-) Today it just rolled off my tongue like I have always said it lol Here I was having a normal conversation where I had just found out it was someone's b-day and we HAVE to celebrate because birthdays are special...it is also a great excuse for a party so while trying to do an actual job we managed to plan a party for tomorrow. It seriously cracked me up though because it like it was so normal when I said "I will make a cake tonight and I can pick up some ice cream and pop at the store" Then I started laughing at myself because I SAID POP:-P I don't even know where I picked it up from either but it must have been somewhere. Ok I just had to share because it made me laugh:-D

Wedding Rings

I can finally talk about this

Last week I decided it was time to get rid of my wedding rings. It wasn't something I wanted to pass down to my dd for reasons I don't feel like explaining. What I didn't realize was how hard it would hit me. My dh is Irish so we had the Claddagh ring - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia this picture doesn't look like mine did but it explains the symbolism behind the ring. I think the poem that went with it said

With this crown
I give my loyalty
With these hands
I offer my service
With this heart
I give you mine
in love, in friendship, let us reign

Our wedding was also based on rings...funny we eloped and this wasn't planned but because I am so extremely sentimental it was perfect. The wedding certificate that hung on our wall until last year said

As these rings are linked together and are entwined around the cross, it is our prayer that our lives will be eternally bound together by love and that our Lord Jesus Christ will be the head of our home and the center of our lives.

Funny how things worked out so differently than I thought they would. I guess the only thing left is for the actually divorce to happen.

Some weeks....

I hate being a woman
I hate hormones and feeling crazy
I hate being a single Mom
I hate that I have to do this alone
I hate that there is not enough hours in a week
THIS is one of those weeks
Just to show you how crazy *I* am this was my day TODAY
I woke up which was my first mistake
I got three kids off to school
I went to work
I rushed home because I needed to be somewhere by 4
I picked up the kids and rushed oldest to the Dentist..ok I took all three with me but only one needed to be seen:-)
Sat at the dentist for over an hour
stopped at Starbucks for a coffee for me and a frap for oldest who was numb and not wanting to eat yet
picked up a bucket of chicken for younger two since I needed to be at school at 6:30
came home and started dinner

Did you catch that? I cooked dinner AFTER I picked up dinner! YES I DID! THAT is how insane I am right now!! I literally sat the food down on the table and started dinner and my middle child said "what about the food you just bought?"
So we had two dinners tonight:-/
Tomorrow has to be better right??

Sunday Ramblings

Last night was so NOT fun! The weather radio went off at 3am, 3:15am and 3:45am:::::::::: YAWN! ::::::::::Then my power went out at 5am and didn't come back on till 10am. I only heard it go off because I had turned on the tv to see where the stupid tornado was so when the tv went off I woke up. The wind was kicking too so it was hard to sleep after that. We ended up missing church this morning. I know it isn't a great excuse but my hair takes forever to dry and I can't go without a shower in the morning. So I have been sitting here trying to get stuff done before the new week starts. This will be our first full week at school:-) Speaking of school check out the new school shoes...new shoes on my kids make me happy:-)

Just so you don't miss the cuteness on mine here is the side view lol

Payless had the BOGO 1/2 off sale so I splurged on me too:-) You kind of have to buy 4 to get half off on two...that's my story and I'm sticking to it:-)

I guess that it all I wanted to ramble about...I was hoping this coffee would kick in so I could finish cleaning but I think a nap is in order instead. As my favorite person would say "Sunday naps are sacred" so I think I will take her advice. BTW if you are ever at Starbucks try ordering a white chocolate mocha with a shot of caramel...YUMMY! It is like turtle candy! Have a wonderful Sunday!

Oh one more random thought....do NOT get a pedicure if you have a broken toe because you just may want to kick the person when she goes to crack your toes;-)

TGIF

I know they aren't the greatest of pics but my camera was being fussy on Wednesday! or it was me lol
My babies started school! They are in 8th, 5th and 2nd:-) I would have posted sooner but I don't think I have had time to stop long enough to do it! I also don't know what I did all summer but I don't think it involved long periods of standing because my legs are killing me...does this mean I am old? :-) Anyway, they started on Wednesday and that is a busy day during the school year for us...somehow I have to get kids home, homework finished, fed and ready for church on time but I am not complaining because I wouldn't trade my job for the world!! I missed them so much this summer that even when I am crazy busy I am enjoying every minute with them. Thursday my boys went with the men at church for GUY NIGHT (you have to yell it) so I had to rush to get them fed and delivered on time. Then I came home and ate ice cream in bed with my daughter while watching Little House episodes and laughing. Sunday night we are having another girls night while the boys go to watch wrestling with a friends dh. Fun times! Ok off to work I go for another round with 2000+ teenagers...how blessed am I??!!! Seriously I LOVE my job!

Sunday's Song

I am pretty sure I have shared on here how much music means to me...I truly believe that God does inhabit the praises of His people. It doesn't matter what I am going through music is just calming to my soul...I thought I would share the song today that touched me:-)

Because of Who You Are

Because of who You are, I give You glory
Because of who You are, I give You praise
Because of who You are, I will lift my voice and say
Lord I worship You, because of who You are
Lord I worship You, because of who You are.

Because of who You are, I give You glory
Because of who You are, I give You praise
Because of who You are, I will lift my voice and say
Lord I worship You, because of who You are
Lord I worship You, because of who You are.

Jehovah Jireh, my Provider
Jehovah Nissi, Lord You reign in victory
Jehovah Shalom, my Prince of Peace
And I worship You, because of who You Are

Mark this date down!!

Some of you might want to sit down for this!! I went to the grocery store WITH A LIST!! And not just any list either! I sat down and looked at our schedule for next week and planned meals accordingly so it works for us:-D It was such a cool feeling to go into the store and know exactly what I was there for and what we were eating for the next week. I did buy a few things not on the list but I made sure they were complete meals so I didn't have to come back for additional ingredients!! I am so excited lol Who knew being organized could be fun??! My oldest who is always quick to quote a movie said "Did that blow your mind, because THAT JUST HAPPENED?!" lol
*bonus points to those who know which movie that is from:-P

High School

I have seen this floating around blogland and thought it looked like fun so I figured I would answer too:-) Really I am just stalling because I am tired and don't want to do anything.

This was my highschool. It looked like a huge tin can and was so LOUD when it rained. The school closed in the late 80's and now it is just a gym. I think they use the old classrooms for the AWANA classes now.

1. Who was your best friend?

Her name was Dawn and we did everything together. She was such an amazing person and grew up to be just as amazing as an adult. She teaches high school math and lives in Florida with her dh and two boys. Oh and she could play the piano!!! She was the pianist at our church at 16 yo and was just amazing. I spent many nights sitting on the floor listening to her practice. I think I will call her when I finish this:-)

2. Did you play any sports?

I sure did! I played basketball and volleyball in highschool. I was also a cheerleader but that really isn't a sport:-)

3. What kind of car did you drive?

This one:-) This was actually the first of 5 Hondas we have owned. I LOVE HONDAS! This was an 81 Honda Civic that I kept until we traded it for a 1990 Honda Civic. I loved this car. I even learned how to change oil and brake pads on this car lol For those who live in Winn Dixie country if you look closely I am wearing the old polyester blue and white uniform from 20 years ago. OH MY WORD that thing was HOT!

4. It’s Friday night. Where were you?

If I wasn't at work I am sure I was either playing in a sport or cheering for one OR at church.

5. Were you a party animal?

NOT EVEN CLOSE! I was Miss Goody Two Shoes. This picture probably tells the story for you

Yes I am standing at a pulpit in front of the church lol I was voted Most Christian Leadership.

6. Were you considered a flirt?

Probably just the opposite.

7. Were you in the band, orchestra or choir?

I sang in choir for 3 yrs even though I can't sing:-) I still tried to make a joyful noise.

8. Were you a nerd?

I don't think so but if I was it doesn't bother me..it still wouldn't;-) I never fit into just ONE group because I played sports, cheered and made good grades so I was just friends with everyone. I still don't like cliques and I try to go out of my way to include those who are "different"..I totally respect when someone has their own opinions and stands up for what they believe in rather than go with the crowd.

9. Were you ever suspended or expelled?

In high school? NO;-)

I was suspended in the 6th grade because I was a bully. I know that is hard to believe for those who know me now BUT before I was saved at 12 I was quite the bully in school...I wasn't at home but only because my older sister was MY bully. I actually called the girl I tortured in school back in 1993 after watching a show about how a bully ruined this one persons life. I called her and apologized profusely for the things I did and she just laughed and said it wasn't that bad. It took me a long time to get over that. Now I am the opposite because I have a hard time standing up for myself.

10. Can you sing the fight song?

We didn't have one lol

11. Who was your favorite teacher?

Wow I have sat here and really thought about this and I didn't have one. I guess if I had to pick I would say Mrs Peterson

12. What was your school mascot?

Patriots

13. Did you go to the Prom?

Dancing was "of the devil" so we didn't have one;-) FTR I don't believe that now.

14. If you could go back, would you?

NO!

15. What do you remember most about graduation?

Honestly this will sound silly but I was worried about all the partying that was going on after. Everyone booked some hotels at the beach and they were planning a huge drinking party...the parents knew but I was concerned about the things that could happen with all the alcohol...ok maybe I was a nerd lol

16. Where were you on Senior Skip Day?

We didn't have one...I couldn't skip anyway because I was too busy and didn't have time. I worked in the school office so missing school meant missing work too...I couldn't afford that;-)

17. Did you have a job your senior year?

I worked in the office at school and at Winn Dixie after school. I had to pay rent somehow and I do know we are still talking high school:-/

18. Where did you go most often for lunch?

The Sheik. I loved their steak in a sack with grilled onions and extra mayo. Plus that had that ice like Sonic does to go with the best cherry limeades. I know this has nothing to do with this but they were so good that when I was pregnant with my oldest and we lived in West Palm Beach I drove almost 5hours for one. I had issues

19. Have you gained weight since then?

ROFL! I was 87lbs when I got married. I NEEDED to gain weight...maybe not as much as I have but I don't ever want to be that skinny again.

20. What did you do after graduation?

I went home and prayed for those at the beach party. I truly was concerned and I do know that sounds pathetic but I was. I also went to Dairy Queen for a foot long chili dog.

21. What year did you graduate?

1987

22. Who was your Senior Prom Date?

See #13

23. Are you going/did you go to your 10 year reunion?

The school closed and nobody planned one for the 10 or the 20th. Before I moved I still saw most of the people I graduated with so I already know what everyone is up too.

Can you believe it???

Can you believe it has been ONE YEAR since I moved to Oklahoma??!! Today is a HUGE milestone for me because I've made it. Last year I was scared to death about all the what ifs. My family wasn't happy about me moving so far with their Grandkids so they weren't supportive. The ex wasn't happy. I really felt sooooooooo alone in this decision. I was told by my ex and my family that I couldn't make it on my own. Every one thought I would come out here and then realize I made a mistake and want to go back to Florida. What they didn't know was I didn't just wake up one day and decide to move half way across the country. I don't think they understood how hard this was for me and how much thought and prayer I put into this decision. I couldn't have done this without knowing I was totally in God's will. Plus nobody really knew what I was going through in my marriage because it wasn't something I told them. I believe the only person I confided in was Merci and I could NOT have done this without her love and support. Everyone needs a "Merci" in their life because she is just a blessing in every way. She was always there to listen and point me to God so He could tell me what I needed to do. I came here with a lot of fear but also with a lot of hope that I could finally have a future without so much hurt and pain. And with God directing our steps we have not only made it but we have thrived.
I came without a job yet God provided the perfect one for our situation. I work school hours so my children do not have to be left alone. I have holidays and summers off.
I have a church that has blessed me and been the body of Christ to us from fixing my car to making sure I was taken care of after my surgery. With the exception of 4th of July we haven't spent a single holiday alone.
I have amazing friends and a support system unlike anything I have ever had. I came from a large family but one that isn't close and for the first time I am seeing what true family is like. With Gods help I am going to break the cycle and I pray my children will know what real love is in their relationships and not repeat the same mistakes.... I have a dear dear friend that I have known for 8 yrs now that I couldn't love more than I already do and her family has adopted me and for that I am so beyond grateful. I love them so very much.
Last year I cried a lot because of all the firsts that we had but this year I am actually excited!! I no longer am worried about if I can make it because we have made it. I now know that no matter what God is going to take care of us...I don't mean I just believe it... I KNOW IT!! And I know He will because He has!!
I am going into this year full of excitement.
I have been approved for a home and hopefully we can find one in this area and move soon.
I am still debt free and that has been a challenge because it is soooooooooo tempting to put stuff on credit especially since this is a great excuse lol
I have 3 wonderful children that I don't have to say goodbye too for another year.
I will be divorced by Feb at the latest and that chapter of my life will be closed. FTR I do NOT believe in divorce...this was a decision that came with a lot of prayer and I believe with everything in me that God is ok with this because He knows ALL the details;-) I know I am in God's will and He has blessed us beyond measure for that faith in stepping out and trusting Him.
This year was scary and every time I said I couldn't do something it happened. It was like a crash course in having faith:-) I am more careful about the things I speak outloud lol

For those who have been there for me the last year THANK YOU seems so little.

For those who haven't here are some highlights from our first year in the "promised land"


Aug--
We arrived to find a beautiful friend waiting for me at my new apartment with cleaning supplies and a teenager to help lol Then she took us all to dinner.
I found a job and a church that I love.


Sept--
got to watch my kids see fall for the first time


Oct--
son broke arm and I was thankful that I have an "in case of emergency" person in my life that I trusted with my most valuable possessions;-) When you are married or live near family that in case of emergency person is almost taken for granted because you have one built in....moving here alone away from family has made me totally appreciate that person lol Thankfully I trust her with my life and any major decision that needs to be made because she knows my heart.
Stbx quit job to move here and things didn't turn out like he expected and I had to make a decision to trust that God was my provider and not him.
We all started counseling.


Nov--
first Thanksgiving in Oklahoma and I got to celebrate twice:-) I had homeless people over for dinner at my place on Thanksgiving and that Saturday I spent Thanksgiving with a friend and her family..I think that was my first bedlam game also lol
Children made sleet angels...hey don't laugh I didn't know!! and then they saw snow for the first time...ya know after the sleet I made them play in!


Dec--
First b-day for me in Oklahoma without my family and yet I had 3 cakes:-)
I had surgery
I celebrated my first anniversary single:*(
We had our first Christmas and we spent it with a dear friend and her parents.


Jan--
Our first ice storm and boy was it fun lol I think I was stuck at home for a week before someone came and dug my car out so I could drive...or attempt to drive;-)


Feb--
We actually made it 6 months and was able to file for divorce. HUGE answer to prayer because this meant Oklahoma had jurisdiction. It was so hard to do and hurt way more than I thought it would.


March--
Our first spring and it was beautiful!! I am in love with the big white trees and the freaky purple cartoon looking ones:-) Yeah those are the technical names:-P
Oh yeah first siren that wasn't on a Saturday at noon!! Oh my word!! lol


April--
Our first court date and you would think I would have more faith by now but I was a basket case. I didn't go alone and I even had a lawyer take my case which was a blessing. My friend and her Dad went with me... I don't think I can ever explain how much it meant to see this man stand there and just be so protective of me. I have never felt so loved. I can't ever tell that without getting choked up....And my friend was amazing! When I lost control and started yelling she was able to stop me and pray right there in the courthouse and remind me this wasn't about me but about God's will and my children...who could ask for a better friend??
Second siren!!


May--
Schools out and I don't have to work for the summer:-)
Daughter had to be put under but I didn't have to do it alone because my friends are awesome and they brought chocolate.


June--
Started counseling for just me and meds for depression...finally felt the fog lift.
Transmission goes out in car and before *I can figure something out my church takes care of it!! God already had a plan before it happened! How cool is that??!!
I had to say goodbye to my children for 41 days.
Cried A LOT because my babies were gone.
All of my amazing friends kept me busy with dinners, lunches, Starbucks, bowling, movies, laughing, cooking for the month, shopping etc


July--
Got two tattoos because I am going through mid life crisis:-)
One is a cross with eagle wings and has Isaiah 40:31 on it because that verse means something to me. The other is "your name" on my back because I really am silly.
My son had surgery in FLORIDA while I was in Oklahoma but once again I had a friend that was there to pick me up and carry me to my Fathers feet. It was one of those fears that I had before they left and I never thought I would survive not being able to be there... God showed me that even if I couldn't do it He could. I am just so thankful that I didn't have to do it alone. God has truly truly blessed me with the best friends anyone could ever ask for.

That is just a few of the things that we have experienced this year. In some ways this year has flown and in others it was THE LONGEST YEAR I have lived. I am one of those people that watches dates so I am thankful that it is over...
no more firsts to live through
no more worrying about the what ifs
no more wondering if we can make it
no more fears about my car breaking down or child support stopping or visitation
no more wondering if I can make it through the summer without working
no more feeling like I am doing this alone

I just have one more court date to live through that I am trying not to stress about it but I know that I won't be alone because God has a plan. One day He will share details with me or maybe I will just learn to trust Him fully:-) I can honestly say I am not the same person that I was a year ago. I am so much stronger than I ever thought I was as long as I don't try to do it in MY strength. I have grown so much and it hasn't been easy but I have been held up by the love and prayers of people that mean the world to me. I love my friends and I love my church. I think I am happy for the first time in a LONG time. Without going into detail I really did leave Egypt for the Promised Land and although I grumbled at times because it IS hard
I have never doubted this is where God wants me.
Not one time in a whole year and that has to mean something.....

Thank you Father for getting us through this first year...thank you for the people you have placed in our lives to make this bearable...bless them because I know I can never repay them in this lifetime....thank you for the "family" you have given us that truly loves and cares for us and shows us in every way.....thank you for directing every step and opening doors and making a way when I couldn't see one...thank for a church that loves my children...thank you for loving us...I love you! I know I am so blessed......

I was tagged

I was tagged by my favorite person in the world Merci

1. Name someone who made you smile today?

My kids:) Did I tell you they were home? ;-) YAY!


2. What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?

I wish I could say sleeping but I was talking to the 2 out of 3 kids that were up. Considering they have been staying up all hours of the night for 6 weeks this was nothing short of a miracle. I could have done without the one getting up at 6 but I am not complaining.


3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?

Reading blogs while eating Doritos and drinking diet coke with lime because I am all about a healthy breakfast;-)


4. Name something that happened to you in 1992?

I was in the room when my SIL had her 3rd child. Honestly it was wonderful and so heartbreaking at the same time. I had been trying to years and never thought I would be able to have my own.


5. When is your birthday?

Dec 6! You can start shopping now to beat the rush:-P


6. Four words to explain why you last threw up?

My son had surgery

7. What color is your hairbrush?

black/purple


8. What was the last thing you bought?

Pizza to feed 11 people and only 3 were adults:-)


9. Where do you keep your money?


What money??


10. What was the weather like today?

Haven't been outside but the temp on my computer says 88 here and 90 in Jax, Fl. In here I have A/C so it feels great to me:-)


11. Where did your last hug take place?

In my apartment


12. What are you excited about?

My kids are home!! Keep up people lol


13. Do you want to cut your hair?

I never know..I cut it and then want it long...when it grows up I want it short. I don't know WHAT I want!


14. Are you over the age of 25?

Yes but age doesn't bother me

15. Do you talk a lot?


ROFL YES!! And I know 2 of you just snorted when you read that so HUSH!


16. Do you watch The O.C.?

nope


17. Does your screen name have an "x" in it?

Weird question but no

18. Do you know anyone named Kelsey?

ummm no


19. Do you make up your own words?

No I just pronounce the ones we already have in my own way...did you know orange is pronounced RRR-ange? or mayor is pronounced MARE and not MAYor...Hey you grow up with a native American Mom that grew up in Rhode Island and a British Father that grew up in Alabama and see if you can talk??

20. Are you ticklish?

Nope


21. Are you typically a jealous person?

No, No No, and NO. And I can't stand jealousy, especially among girlfriends. We're not in junior high anymore.
I just left Merci's answer because she is allowed to speak for me. It is a law.

22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter "C".

Cheryl


23. Who was the last person to call you?

I had to check my phone but it was the same person who tagged me for this lol I talked to others after that but I must have called them lol

24. Do you chew on your straws?

No and I can't stand it when people do...HUGE pet peeve!!


25. Do you have curly hair?

Oh no! I wish!

26. What is the next concert you're going to?

Probably Otisburg because my son will drag me:-) He is their biggest fan because he knows "guitar dude" personally.


27.Where did you go today?

I am not leaving my house today.


28. What is something you say a lot?

I am all about....I love you!....Geez I talk a lot remember? I am sure I say a lot of things a lot lol


29. Have you seen the movie 'Donnie Darko'?

Never heard of it.


30. Do you have to work tomorrow?

I have 3 kids what do you think? If you mean a paying job I don't go back till school starts.

31. Who was the last person you said "I love you" to?

I would have to say my kids in person but I am sure I just told someone else in a comment and in email. I told you I say it a lot.


32. What should you be doing right now?

Finishing my book but I know once I pick it up I won't want to put it down


33. Do you have a nickname?

I don't think I do unless you count Barbie. Oh wait the stbx might have one for me;-)


34. Are you a heavy sleeper?

No


35. What are you listening to?

My children talking to each other


36. What is the best movie you've seen in the past two week?

Ok this week I started out watching a movie with a friend to take my mind off the fact my son was fixin to have surgery.... then I watched a movie at another friends house....I also took the kids to see Spiderman 3 when they came home
...none of which were "the best" but I laughed and enjoyed the company

37. Is there anyone you like right now?

I am still legally married to my first mistake so NO.


38. When was the last time you did the dishes?

Last night after dinner


39. Did you cry today?

Not yet but the day isn't over.

I guess I will tag ~*~Jesica~*~ because she makes me laugh too! Hey and don't use the excuse you are going out of town!! :-P

These are the kids after I cleaned them up some lol Amazing what some haircuts can do!! It is so great to have them back home and know that they are taking their meds and all the other things that Moms seem to take care of:-) I still can't get over how much they have grown. I am not used to looking up to my 13yo! As you can see I have decided to let my oldest keep the length of his hair as long as his attitude doesn't start changing. We shall see how long it last before I decide it needs to be short again lol Friday night is our house is FRIDAY NIGHT SMACKDOWN! They are HUGE fans. This is my middle child waiting for it to come on

This is him in the middle of watching it lol

Too bad you can't hear how loud it is here but I am so loving the noise:-) I even enjoyed cooking a homecooked meal tonight knowing that they were eating healthy and not fast food.

Oh and for those who have asked about my oldest....I talked to the Dr today and the results of his biopsy confirm that he has Eosinophilic Esophagitis Now we just need to find out what it is that he is allergic to:-( Poor baby has already been through the allergy scratch test and I am not in a hurry to repeat that again! He has an appt next week to get a referral to a specialist and see where we go from here. I am just thankful that they are home safe where they belong.

Soooooooooo happy:-D They have grown so much too! My oldest is definitely taller than me now.

SOOOOOOO CLOSE!!

The kids are in Memphis, TN!! They should be here this afternoon so if I disappear I am busy kissing and hugging my kids. I can't believe I made it almost 6 weeks without seeing them or being able to hug them. They are coming home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They're on their way!!!!!!!!!

They were delayed a day because my oldest had to had a "procedure" done in the hospital....that sounds so much better than they put my baby under and I couldn't be there. Long story but I received the call that no Mother wants to get that said something about my oldest son, the paramedics, he was in the hospital and may need surgery...blah blah blah. I am the Mom and I am supposed to be there when things happen. I think that is a law or something....Instead I was 1200+ miles away and NO planes were flying out of OKC to JAX until the next morning. Even those flights would not make it in time. Why do they all have layovers in states that are NOT on the way???!! That makes no sense to me. Do people never want to leave Oklahoma so they don't need flights out?? Even if I drove through the night I couldn't get there in time...that was a HORRIBLE feeling. I believe what I did next shows my maturity and how much I have grown in the Lord.. NOT!....I fell on the floor in hyterics because that would make things better right?? I don't think I have ever felt so out of control and I couldn't do a dang thing about it. A dear friend came over and picked me up and somehow got me through the night...wait I know how..she prayed and loved me through the night and was just there. I truly am blessed by her daily. They did it at 7:26 the next morning and he is fine. He was discharged that afternoon and they left Florida this morning around 9am est. They diagnosed him with Eosinophilic Esophagitis and did a biopsy. I should have the results of that this week. After reading all about it I was aggravated that they didn't figure this out earlier because his Pedi in Florida was a GI Dr and knew about his symptoms. I guess the good thing that came out of this is we know what it is and can treat it. That is the only good thing because the rest of this just sucked.
BUT MY KIDS ARE COMING HOME!!!!!!!! They might drive straight through so I could see them in the middle of the night YAY! My babies are coming home and I don't have to do this again for another year.

Because I am silly:-)

Oh yes I did!!

Pictures

I am HORRIBLE about getting pictures developed. I don't mean I let them sit around for a couple of weeks or even a couple of months..I mean several YEARS! I decided that while the kids were gone I would drop off some old film. It had been so long I wasn't even sure what was on them or if I would cry or not. I was such a chicken that I had a friend look at them first before I did lol All together I dropped off 8 rolls but only 5 came out. I am actually sad that I lost so many pictures because some of these are just too cute! Thankfully we have a date feature on our camera because these are seriously old:-) Just to show you I am not kidding here is one of the pictures...keep in mind my children are 13, 10 and 7! In case you can't see the date in the corner it is 4/23/00 so that makes my children 6, 3 and 7 months!

3 days!!

My kids are leaving Florida to come home in 3 days!! Oh my word I can't wait!!!! :-) I am sooooo excited! I thought I would go insane without them because they have been my life for so long..I wasn't even sure who I was. I was surprised that I was able to actually enjoy myself and rediscover who I am. I still miss them with everything in me but it wasn't horrible. I didn't lock myself in my apartment and hide from the world like I thought...I am only half kidding too lol I have been able to have complete freedom and some days that meant spending time with friends and others walking around my apartment nekkid and watching movies all day. I have read a ton of books and had a lot of quiet time with my Father and I feel refreshed in some ways and exhausted in others because growing isn't always easy. I feel like this last year has been such a LONG year and I don't even feel like the same person I was when I moved here. So much has happened and God has taken me out of my comfort zone and had me totally rely of Him and some days that is hard. The cool thing about them coming home next week is I won't have to say goodbye for a whole nother year. I can't wait to have my babies home! I know I have been quiet and I appreciate the emails and phone calls checking on me...I didn't mean to make anyone worry I just haven't felt like getting on the computer;-) I am ok...God has shown me I really CAN do all things through Him when I quit trying to do it in my strength. I also have been blessed with an amazing support system. I have THE best church and the best friends. How many people can say they have friends that will come over and sit on the floor with you while you have food poisoning? AND bring you every kind of medicine just to make you feel better?...ok that is a whole story in itself but let me just say I will NEVER eat lamb again. Lamb is ewe!!....or people who will sit at the Drs with you till 2am? Or people who just call to make sure you are ok because you haven't been online? God has just blessed me with amazing friends...truly blessed me! Last year at this time I felt so alone thinking I was moving in just 10 days and here I am a year later with friends that I thank God for everyday and I couldn't be more blessed. I am just so thankful for all the things that God is doing in our lives also. God is so cool:-D

How cute is this??

This is how I have been spending part of the time away from my kids:-) This is my 3yo little friend who wanted to watch the Little People movie with me...."we can watch it TOgetHER" Who could say no to that face??

Before everyone freaks at once...I didn't just post a pic of someone elses kid without their Mom knowing it was on the internet because she put it on my myspace...after she created it for me lol I am so hip now:-P

2 More Weeks!

I know I have been quiet but I really miss my kids:-( This is so much harder than I ever imagined. I know God is in control and I remind myself of that every day...sometimes every hour:-/I talk to them daily but it doesn't compare to the hugs and kisses and seeing their faces. I know this is hard for them too and I feel bad that they feel torn between missing me and having fun. It is really hard and
when I hear things like they were lost in a waterpark while in the care their Grandpa (dhs dad)...I want to throw up thinking about the what ifs.
When I know they are staying up till 2am playing video games I get frustrated.
When I know they are spending time with Daddy AND his girlfriend I get really upset..ftr not because I am jealous but because we are still married and I don't want my kids to see sin as something that is ok because it is not. The seventh commandment is still in my Bible.
When I know they are eating fast food more often then homecooked meals I cringe.
I want them to have routine because that is what they are used to BUT I can't do anything except pray. Is that what I am supposed to learn in this? Is this another test of my faith? Wasn't trusting God to pack up and leave everything to move here enough?

Oh and for those keeping up with the longest divorce in the history of divorces...the court date is set for next Feb! Yes, that is Feb 2008! Apparently the courts are backed up and my life will just continue to stay on hold.

And so this doesn't sound entirely like I am just sitting home and crying I have amazing people in my life. I have been to Starbucks for coffee and fellowship several times with many different people. I have been out to lunch and dinner with girlfriends and other families. I have been shopping with friends. I have cooked all day with my favorite person in the whole world so I have freezer meals. I have laughed till my stomach hurt. I have been bowling. I have been to the movies. I have been given a tour of Oklahoma. I have been to Norman for boiled peanuts but they were out of them lol I have been able to love on others which so blesses me. I am planning a trip to Texas for a girls weekend. I HAVE been busy but that ache in my heart for my kids hasn't gone away. I miss them. Two weeks can't come fast enough......

Yeah what she said------> The Covering~ for Single Parents » Blog Archive » Holidays


This was my FIRST holiday without my children:***(

Drum roll please

I promised I would name the Rockin Girl Bloggers today so here ya go....

Oh but first I want to really thank Clem for the kind words she wrote about me on her blog. I think you rock too!! Your words just blessed me so much. If you haven't known me long faith has always been such a struggle for me because it means letting go and trusting God. My lack of faith is why I didn't leave my marriage a long time ago. So to be told that I "ooze faith" just blessed me and reminded me of how far I have come. This year has been such a challenge for me and I think I understand better how the people felt when they left Egypt..sometimes it seems easier to just keep doing what you have always done because change IS hard and grumbling comes so easy. Oh I think this song explains it best. It is by Sara Groves

I don’t want to leave here
I don’t want to stay
It feels like pinching to me either way
The places I long for the most
Are the places where I’ve been
They are calling after me like a long lost friend

It’s not about losing faith
It’s not about trust
It’s all about comfortable
When you move so much
The place I was wasn’t perfect
But I had found a way to live
It wasn’t milk or honey
But then neither is this

CHORUS:
I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacked
The future seems so hard
And I want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I"ve learned
And those roads closed off to me
While my back was turned

The past is so tangible
I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy to discard
I was dying for some freedom
But now I hesitate to go
Caught between the promise
And the things I know

BRIDGE:
If it comes too quick
I may not recognize it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
If it comes too quick
I may not appreciate it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

Wait I said I was going to tell you who I thought the Rockin Girl Bloggers were and I got off on something else:-P Not hard for me because I think I have ADD:-D
Ok since you all know I think Oklahoma Rocks I am going to pick Oklahoma bloggers. Some of you I have met and some I can't wait to meet:-) Just email me and we can do lunch dahling! You know my schedule is just so flexible right now;-)

So without making this much longer

I will start with Grace...She is such a sweet blogger AND she makes cheesecake which is a plus...see that was a HUGE hint in case ya'll missed it. I love me some dessert lol We haven't met yet but we will:-)

Then I will head on over to ~*~Jesica~*~who I had the privilege of meeting last week. You wouldn't know that we just met to hear us together! I even took her dh on a date which just seems weird but trust me it wasn't lol I LOVE her kids and I had forgotten how much I enjoy babies. She talks just as much as I do so we closed down a Starbucks one night and I got home after midnight TWICE!

Then we have Kilikina who I haven't met either but she is really pregnant so I won't bug her:-) SOOOO sweet though!! Oh my gosh and go check out the pic on June 18th of her little basketball belly...I can't figure out how to link that one but it is TOOOOOO cute!! She is contracting right now so send some easy labor prayers..I am so excited for her lol

And we can't forget Merci who I have also met and mentioned on here before:-) She is an amazing person and I love reading her blog. She blesses me just by breathing. You know that friend that just knows your heart without you saying a word? that is her:-) I can honestly say I could not have gotten through this last year without her love and support. You really do rock lol

Last but not least is someone new to Oklahoma Robin who moved here from Texas. She is REAL and that is a huge plus in my book. And she loves my Jesus and that shows.

So consider yourself Rockin Girl Bloggers!!

Thank You!

Look I rock! At least Clem thinks so:-) How sweet is she AND she has met me IRL! Yeah you can all be jealous now because I have met her :-P~~~~~~~~
I know the rule is to pick 5 and I will do that....tomorrow:-) I have to apologize but my head is pounding and looking at the computer screen makes me want to take an ice pick to my sinuses to relieve some of this pressure. Oh my word the rain won't STOP and for some reason I seem to be allergic to rain. Yeah and we are on day 16 of consecutive rain:-(

In other news if you live within a square mile of my church and woke up to find an American flag in your front yard...you're welcome lol ~*~Jesica~*~ helped so you can thank her too:-) There were over 1200 flags so obviously we had help;-) Doesn't it look pretty though?? Ok I am going to crawl back into my covers and pray the rain stops or the pounding in my head does.

FYI

I am still alive:-)
I am sick of boxed meals
I miss home cooking
AND
I miss my kids like crazy!! After spending a couple of days doing nothing I had to get out and see people. I got to meet another "imaginary friend" from the internet. She was actually a friend of a friend or a friend of a friend's friend lol I spent Saturday and Sunday with her family and remembered how much I love babies! I stayed out till almost midnight both nights! I am like a little kid with so much freedom. They even went to church with me and found out why I love my church so much. Don't worry I have been trying to spread my love around so I don't drive just one person crazy lol Of course, my favorite person in the whole world picked the time my kids went out of town to go on vacation...yeah she did!! And just when I needed her the most... Isn't that so wrong?? She is home now and I fully expect her to make it up to me by going to lunch or dinner with me SOON:::::::::BIG GRIN:::::::::(did that work cuz I know you are reading? ;-) ) I AM kidding for those who don't know me. Guilt would never work with her;-) FTR she did send me a card that arrived while she was gone so how sweet is she??? Other than that I am just watching the rain fall. I AM SO SICK OF RAIN. I thought I moved to a drier place but it has rained like two weeks straight.

Rain rain go away!!

First let me say I just feel blessed that so many people care about my feelings. I have sat here and cried happy tears at some of the emails I have received. I didn't mean to make it sound like all I am doing is crying in this post.... I AM having a hard time because I really haven't been away from my kids. I miss them and I feel like part of me is gone. I think this is part of the loss..the sending them away for visitation is just another part of divorce that hurts. I know I have said it a million times but I never thought this is how my life would turn out. I think it is the loss of the dream that I am mourning still and it is a process. A LONG process. I miss the person I thought I married. I don't miss the abuse and I don't miss the hurt. I don't know if I have shared here but I am not ready to date. For one the divorce isn't final but the bigger reason is I don't want to repeat the same pattern. I want to know why I stayed as long as I did. Why did I excuse behaviors and allow bad things to happen? I wouldn't want that for anyone else so why did *I* stay? Did I not think I was important enough? did I think I deserved it? Until I have some answers I will be single. I am taking this time to learn who I am in Christ. Everyday I learn something new. I think the kids being gone is helping me face some things head on. I was going to try and stay as busy as I could so I didn't have to think about it but God told me to "STOP and listen" so today that is what I have done. Today I turned off the phones, turned off the radio and tv and cleaned...Cleaning helps me relax and think. I focus better when I am cleaning. I don't have anyone here so talking out loud to God seems normal lol I am just taking my time and thanking God for what I have. I know I left so much behind and some days that bothers me that I am in a different income bracket and I live on a tighter budget...but today I remembered that I am not in debt, my bills are paid and what I have is mine. Don't get me wrong I am far from materialistic..I just didn't know I would be starting over at 37 lol
But I am blessed.
I have friends that love me.
I have people that have lived this that have emailed me some really encouraging things that give me hope.
I have people that haven't lived this but know my heart and they have blessed me beyond measure.
I have people that challenge me,
people that lift me up,
people that sit and cry with me and feel my pain,
people that carry me to God's feet...what more could I ask for??
I can also say that I am breaking the cycle for my kids and as hard as that has been it will be worth it...My dd will grow up and know who she is in Christ. My boys will know how to treat their wives and stop the cycle that has continued in the family for years.
I really am blessed.
God gave me the strength and courage to do something I never thought possible. Some days it still feels like a dream. Some days I wonder who that person was that was able to break free and then I remember that I can do all things through Christ..it was in His strength that I was able to do it.
It hurts still but it will be worth it.
Watching God's hand in our lives has been something none of us will soon forget. My kids will always remember and hopefully when God asks them to do something outside of their comfort zone they will remember that God takes care of all the details.
And that means God knew they would be going to Florida and He will take care of them. He will watch over and protect them. I have that to hold onto:-)

The question that seems to be on everyone's lips is "what are you doing without your kids??" so I am going to answer that for you...

just don't be jealous cuz my life is so interesting:-P

Saturday

I said goodbye to my kids and cried
called a dear friend and cried to her
cried some more
talked to everyone else in the family but didn't cry
hung up and cried
talked to several friends that called but didn't cry
hung up and cried
talked to kids
hung up and cried myself to sleep

Sunday

Woke up and turned the alarm off
I decided not to go to church because of the whole Fathers Day thing
decided my house was way too quiet
cried
remembered I hadn't eaten in over 24hrs when I started feeling sick
ate some soup
talked to kids who were in Alabama by this time
cried myself to sleep

Monday

woke up at 9
answered some emails
decided it was too early and went back to bed
set alarm for NOON lol
Got up and started day
called bank about buying a house
Went to Dr for full physical including my girly parts
realized it was more action than I have had in a long time;-)
Celebrated by having dinner at a friends house lol
ate steak and watched tivo
made mental note that when I start watching more tv and become less cheap I really want tivo
went grocery shopping alone and stocked up on food that I could cook for just one.
talked to kids who were in Florida by this time
cried myself to sleep

Tuesday

Bank called me back and I was approved
Friend from church picked me up and we spent day together
Went shopping (I HATE shopping)
ate at a restaurant that was new to me...really enjoyed the food:-)
went to see a horror flick
shopped some more
came home and took a nap
laughed on phone with a different friend
thanked God for the people in my life
got ready for a storm that was supposed to be really bad
talked to my kids
cried because I miss them SOOOOOOOOOOO much
started reading a book
fell asleep and missed the whole storm

Wednesday

woke up at 10:30 to phone ringing
bank called and wanted a name for the realtor I was using
finished reading the book I started the night before
thought about cleaning and quickly pushed that thought out of my head
went to store for batteries and cleaning stuff just in case I change my mind
ate at Braums
took a nap again
woke up at 7pm
typed this:-)

Now aren't you glad you asked??

Sniff Sniff

I think they miss the kids too:*( It is too quiet.....

::::::sigh::::::

Today is the day they leave. It was supposed to be on Thursday but their Dad had some scheduling issues so he is on his way right now. He is in Texas so he should be here some time this afternoon. I am having a hard time. I couldn't sleep last night knowing I have to say goodbye today. I sat and stared at them most of the night just like I did when they were babies. You know things weren't supposed to turn out like this:*( I said "till death do us part" and I meant it but sometimes you don't have a choice...I shouldn't have to say goodbye to my children because of someone elses actions. It doesn't seem fair. I am trying so hard to remember this is about them spending time with their Dad....that God knows what is best and loves them even more than I do and He will take care of them....that this will be a good thing. It's soooooooooooooooo hard and if the tears right now are any indication the next 6 weeks are going to be rough. How do you stop being a Mom after 13 yrs? How do I turn that off? I should have children to cook for and do laundry for and clean up after. I shouldn't have an empty nest while they are 7, 10 and 13! This really really really sucks:******(

OUCH!!

I feel like such a horrible Mom!! My children are sunburned!! We spent the day at the pool with my favorite people and I swear the sun is hotter in Oklahoma! How else do you explain 3 children who were born and raised in FLORIDA getting their first sunburns in Oklahoma?!! My poor middle child's face is burnt to a crisp:-( His lips are so red they look like he is wearing lipstick. He also looks like he had botox injections because he isn't moving his face lol I had to get him to smile fast for the picture. Even I am red and I NEVER burn. I am sure their Daddy will get a good laugh at me when he picks them up since I am the one that doesn't wear sunscreen because the sun seems to avoid me. There were many nights of me rubbing aloe on his sunburn while I sat there white as a ghost AFTER spending the day at the beach. I always figured it was the Native American in me. That sure doesn't explain today lol They are exhausted from all the fun they had today so they said it was worth it:-) Kids are so funny but *I* feel bad because it looks painful. I just rubbed them down with aloe and we are going to watch a movie since they are tired. Even with sunburn they are cute aren't they? :-D I had a week of fun planned before they leave but I am thinking the zoo day may have to wait till they get back:-/ BTW the oldest WILL get a haircut when he comes back from Florida lol I am gonna miss their faces:::sigh::::I hope it gets easier

Car Update

This is my car----->

I just thought I would update ya'll on my car situation:-) Remember this post? Well, it was last Sunday that I was told they were towing my car and would let me know something. I hadn't heard anything all week and I was honestly starting to worry a little. I can go worst case scenario real quick...it is one of my many skills;-) I refused to call to find out because I was trying to just trust that God was taking care of it...again hard for me to do but I managed without so much as ONE phonecall. This morning I went to church and the man that took my keys last Sunday sat across from me and nobody said a word about the car. NOT ONE WORD. Talk about trying not to panic. After SS I was packing up my Bible and getting ready to leave and wondering if I should say anything and he said "Barbie did anyone call you about your car?...it is ready and will be delivered to the church tomorrow"...I asked what ended up being the problem and like it was totally nothing he said "you were right it was the transmission so they just put a NEW Ford transmission in it"...I just started bawling..I don't mean a little tear... I MEAN bawling! HOW in the heck do you thank someone for that?? I know it might not seem like a lot to someone else but to me this is HUGE. I need a car. I was told that the men in the church had already taken care of it so I personally walked around and thanked as many as I could. Lots of tears were shed today and not all by me lol One man looked at me and said "you can thank me by hugging my neck" and I did:-) Then he went on to explain that THIS is what churches are supposed to do...they are supposed to be the body of Christ and take care of the single folk. I can't tell you how blessed I feel and how unworthy I feel all at the same time....BUT once again God's provision is amazing and once again I just know this is where I am supposed to be..God has had His hand in this from the beginning and continues to take care of us...even when I doubt.

Who knew wrestling could make me cry??

I have been doing really good with my children being gone for 6 WHOLE WEEKS! I keep telling myself that I have given this to God and He knows best and my children will be just fine...plus the majority of their time will probably be with my parents anyway. I am ok with that. The ex or stbx still works nights and you can't leave 3 children alone all day. It all sounds great huh? I will have a summer alone...free to do whatever I want...whenever I want....
Then someone PLEASE tell me why it hurts so dang bad??!! This morning when I went to wake up the boys...wait this AFTERNOON lol...my middle child said "it's Friday Mom!! do you know what that means?!!" and both boys yelled "FRIDAY NIGHT SMACKDOWN!!" and at first I laughed and then it hit me that this is the last Friday I will hear that...then I cried:*( Does their Daddy know that life stops at 7pm CST so they can watch wrestling?? does he know what their favorite snacks are? does he even know them? I know you are thinking I haven't even been gone a year and these are his kids but I gotta tell you he has worked nights for most of their lives so he wasn't home. I can't imagine not seeing their faces every night before I go to bed. I can't imagine them being so far that I can't just jump in the car and give them a hug. I think I was in denial that it would hurt this much. Every time they walk by me today I just squeeze them and think I am so gonna miss them:***( I am so not good with goodbyes....for those that talk to me on the phone here is your fair warning....do NOT ask me about my kids leaving unless you are prepared for the tears that will follow...I can't even fake this not hurting...these are MY babies and they are leaving in 5 days:**(

My Weekend, My Car, My God:-)

There was a time not to long ago that little things would totally stress me out. You have to understand that I have a NEED to plan and know what is happening next. God has truly been working on me but like a spoiled brat I still worry and stress out. That brings me to my weekend. I believe with everything in me that God brought me to Oklahoma. That doesn't mean I have had an easy road but the provision of God has been amazing. Not one time have I doubted that God would take care of us and my kids will never forget this lesson either. Saturday the kids and I decided to go grocery shopping and to Blockbuster. As we approached the intersection to turn my car stopped going forward. It was still running but wouldn't go when I hit the gas. My heart sank because I just knew this was my transmission. If you are a long time reader you know I bought this car in July a few weeks before I moved here. I believe that God provided this car for us because it came at a time I didn't know what I was going to drive since our cars in Florida were not in my name. Out of nowhere came the opportunity to buy a car that I could afford. It is a 2000 Ford Taurus. Something happening to my car was always a fear because here I am 1200+ miles from family and what am I going to do without a car?? Normally I would cry and throw a fit and then try and figure out how *I* was going to fix this. This time I grabbed my kids hands and said "let's just go get our groceries and I will call Mr. ___ and see if he can bring us home". The kids were so funny because I think they were waiting for the tears or the all out fit and they were saying things like "hey think of all the money we will save in gas" or "we can just walk everywhere because we could use the exercise" lol I know they were trying to cheer me up and it was working. We came home and after we put the food away I went to my room. I was going to pray but decided that would just come out in sobs so I thought God talking to me would be better:-) I grabbed my Bible and just soaked in His word. I didn't call anyone to cry. I didn't freak. I didn't even email the one person that I knew would pray with her whole heart. I just gave it to God...totally. I did call a friend from church and asked for a ride on Sunday morning. I am 4 people so I had to find someone that would be alone or had a huge van lol Skipping church was NOT an option because I needed to go and this was not going to get me down. She is an important person so she had to be there early and one of the ladies in my SS class asked why I was there so early so I told her who I rode with. Her dh immediately asked what was wrong with my car and I told him that it was in the Braums parking lot and I thought my transmission went out. He grabbed my keys and another man and they left to go see about my car. Before church was out they had brought it to the church parking lot and told me it was my transmission. I think I took a deep breath and he quickly added that he had enough men in the church that had already committed to making sure my car was running that it was ok. Did you catch that??! ALREADY committed!! God had a plan in place before I even needed it! Isn't that just so God?? I have a dear friend that has been trying to teach me this lesson for years...when things happen I always hear her little southern accent saying "God isn't up there thinking...oh shoot! I forgot about Barbie! What am I gonna do now?" but that He knows and already has a plan. I just need to learn to trust. Such a hard lesson but one I think I may be starting to get:-) Isn't God just so amazing?? and not because He is taking care of my car but because I was really OK before I knew His plan. I was even counting my blessings and thinking it was a good thing it didn't happen when I got lost across town or when I was working or when the kids needed to go to the Dr...It couldn't have happened at a better place or time. That is the amazing part..I actually saw growth in ME because I allowed God to do His thing:-) Oh and I have to share this part with you. Another friend called me today and told me that I could use her vehicle till mine was fixed because she could just drive the truck and when I hesitated she told me she was already adding me to the insurance for the week so I had to hush. I hung up and called the kids in the living room because I don't want them to miss this blessing from God and I shared with them the verse I read in 1 Peter yesterday...its 1 Peter 5:10 and I am not linking it so go grab your Bible and read it:-) I told them how the men in the church had already committed to making sure our car was ok and how my other friend was going to loan us hers...my oldest son said "it is like having God insurance on the car"....yes, it is son...it is just like that:-)

Lost Cause:-)

I have told you before but I am seriously directionally challenged! I could use the excuse that I am still fairly new to Oklahoma but I never learned my way around Florida either!! Back before cell phones were real popular I remember trying to run one simple errand for my dh and a couple hours later and several stops trying to figure out how to get back I explained where I had been...Florida has bridges and I saw several that day so I was in tears trying to tell him what took so long I was like "the big blue bridge? that one! and the really HIGH red bridge that scares me?? I was on that one too and you know I am terrified of that one! I was also on some bridge that looks really cool but I had never been on that one ever!" Here I am crying because I had this newborn that doesn't like car rides and I was LOST and him and another guy just burst out laughing at how someone could get SO lost. That was 13yrs ago and I am not any better now!! Yesterday I had to go 19.69 miles from my home...I was armed with a mapquest map AND a map from my wonderful friend aka mapquest for dummies who understands how bad I really am so she types out things like "leave your apt and turn left" or "turn at On the Border" instead of saying thing like go west and take 1-whatever interstate that is.....it is the On the Border one to me. The worst thing is having to call her and tell her I still managed to get lost so I really try not to get lost. Its always an adventure with me lol I was driving trying to find a single digit exit and they were all triple digits so I was already worried. I looked at the directions a million times and then I saw the airport exits and freaked...I said a little prayer and hoped she had her coffee and was awake lol Apparently Mapquest and Mapquest for Dummies forgot to mention that if I actually stay ON the interstate I will end up in Lawton and I need to curve and take some other one 1-240 or something and the numbers will change. I only had to turn around ONCE and I made it ok. Then I left and remembered that I didn't do reverse directions and I had no idea how to get home...don't say just go the opposite way because that NEVER works for me!! So I call her back and leave an "I'M LOST" message and she calls me back. Even with her ON THE PHONE I still managed to take like 4 different interstates! FOUR!!! AND ended up either IN or near another city. I just checked my cell phone and the poor woman spent almost 30mins trying to get me somewhere I wasn't lost..btw thank you again! I really don't understand it either. If you knew how good my memory truly is you would probably be as confused as I am lol I can tell you so many useless facts but I can't get across the street without getting lost at least once @@ So I share this with you because I am just going to embrace this part of me and laugh along with you:-D Just remember if you live in OKC and we go off together just let me pay for gas and you drive unless you want to take a VERY scenic route:-)

Who I Am In Christ

I am accepted...

John 1:12 I am God's child.
John 15:15 As a disciple, I am a friend of Jesus Christ.
Romans 5:1 I have been justified.
1 Corinthians 6:17 I am united with the Lord, and I am one with Him in spirit.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 I have been bought with a price and I belong to God.
1 Corinthians 12:27 I am a member of Christ's body.
Ephesians 1:3-8 I have been chosen by God and adopted as His child.
Colossians 1:13-14 I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins.
Colossians 2:9-10 I am complete in Christ.
Hebrews 4:14-16 I have direct access to the throne of grace through Jesus Christ.

I am secure...

Romans 8:1-2 I am free from condemnation.
Romans 8:28 I am assured that God works for my good in all circumstances.
Romans 8:31-39 I am free from any condemnation brought against me and I cannot be separated from the love of God.
2 Corinthians 1:21-22 I have been established, anointed and sealed by God.
Colossians 3:1-4 I am hidden with Christ in God.
Philippians 1:6 I am confident that God will complete the good work He started in me.
Philippians 3:20 I am a citizen of heaven.
2 Timothy 1:7 I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind.
1 John 5:18 I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me.


I am significant...

John 15:5 I am a branch of Jesus Christ, the true vine, and a channel of His life.
John 15:16 I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit.
1 Corinthians 3:16 I am God's temple.
2 Corinthians 5:17-21 I am a minister of reconciliation for God.
Ephesians 2:6 I am seated with Jesus Christ in the heavenly realm.
Ephesians 2:10 I am God's workmanship.
Ephesians 3:12 I may approach God with freedom and confidence.
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.