The question that seems to be on everyone's lips is "what are you doing without your kids??" so I am going to answer that for you...

just don't be jealous cuz my life is so interesting:-P


I said goodbye to my kids and cried
called a dear friend and cried to her
cried some more
talked to everyone else in the family but didn't cry
hung up and cried
talked to several friends that called but didn't cry
hung up and cried
talked to kids
hung up and cried myself to sleep


Woke up and turned the alarm off
I decided not to go to church because of the whole Fathers Day thing
decided my house was way too quiet
remembered I hadn't eaten in over 24hrs when I started feeling sick
ate some soup
talked to kids who were in Alabama by this time
cried myself to sleep


woke up at 9
answered some emails
decided it was too early and went back to bed
set alarm for NOON lol
Got up and started day
called bank about buying a house
Went to Dr for full physical including my girly parts
realized it was more action than I have had in a long time;-)
Celebrated by having dinner at a friends house lol
ate steak and watched tivo
made mental note that when I start watching more tv and become less cheap I really want tivo
went grocery shopping alone and stocked up on food that I could cook for just one.
talked to kids who were in Florida by this time
cried myself to sleep


Bank called me back and I was approved
Friend from church picked me up and we spent day together
Went shopping (I HATE shopping)
ate at a restaurant that was new to me...really enjoyed the food:-)
went to see a horror flick
shopped some more
came home and took a nap
laughed on phone with a different friend
thanked God for the people in my life
got ready for a storm that was supposed to be really bad
talked to my kids
cried because I miss them SOOOOOOOOOOO much
started reading a book
fell asleep and missed the whole storm


woke up at 10:30 to phone ringing
bank called and wanted a name for the realtor I was using
finished reading the book I started the night before
thought about cleaning and quickly pushed that thought out of my head
went to store for batteries and cleaning stuff just in case I change my mind
ate at Braums
took a nap again
woke up at 7pm
typed this:-)

Now aren't you glad you asked??


paul said...

Tears are just little drops of love. I'm praying for you.

Clemntine said...

Well, as one of the askers of "the question" (sorry), I'd say your answer about covers it. I know you're hurting. Please know I'm praying.

ame said...

this time ... this first time ... it just takes time.

good for you ... getting out ... doing things

you don't want your kids to think you can't survive without them - it will make them feel guilty for "leaving" you and being with daddy. you want them to feel "free" to be with their dad.

i often do not give my kids the "details" of what i'm doing ... not because it's anything they shouldn't know, but because they need to know mommy has a "life" separate from them (whatever that may or may not be at the time ;)

i often tell my kids i'm doing "mommy things." i do tell them some of what i do, just not all. i think that's healthy. it also sets a stage for the possibility of dating sometime in the future - and not having to give them every detail.

do not feel guilty for enjoying time away from your kids. you need to find ways to enjoy being Barbie. no, this is not what you wanted, but it is what it is. and you have a choice. let "it" rule you; or master it and move on.

yes, there needs to be space for grieving ... but make sure you do not spend all your time wallowing ... but allow yourself good "wallow" time - it's healthy - especially this first time.

and remember, you're a great mother! now, be the great Barbie that you are!!!

Anonymous said...

Braum's makes everything just a little better, doesn't it?

Jesica said...

Wow! Your life is fascinating! LOL

Almost as cool as mine. :0)

Congrats on being approved for a house. How cool is that?! YAY!!

Congrats on all the times you didn't cry.

((((hugs)))) because I know it stinks!

When your social life is less crowded ... come on over. I'll make ya some coffee.

Lynn said...

WOW...it sounds like my day, with the exception of the tears. Sorry you are having the heartaches. When my oldest went off to college I was in total mourning! It was horrible for her and me! Then I realized that she was coming home sometime. It wasn't like she was gone from my life in a terrible accident or illness. It made me so grateful for life and to praise God for tapping me on the shoulder and reminding me.