Life is always happening around here. I haven't wanted to blog because I don't want to sound whiny about my life when I really AM happy 98% of the time lol So here is what is going on and you can join me in praying.... My ex lost his job well over a month ago so he hasn't paid child support at ALL. I do NOT make enough to pay the bills without child support. We still have 3 children that I am raising and I know deep down he is working somewhere. He just isn't paying since they can no longer garnish his wages...His Dad owns a chain of restaurants and his latest girlfriend has her own business so I am not buying the unemployed line. SOOOO I am trusting God that He has a plan. Most of the time I really DO and I have peace. I have no problem sleeping at night and I do not lie awake thinking about how to fix this so I have grown:-) The old me would have stressed herself sick trying to figure this out. I will say that God has wonderful timing so this couldn't have happened at a better time and I am sure that is helping my faith level. My bills are paid and my kids aren't hungry so what more could I ask for? Eventually he will have to pay or go to jail but the wheels of justice move slowly. So I trust but this time not with blind faith. I am standing on Gods Word and I pulled out all of the verses that applied so I know what promises I am standing on..and it works!! Then someone at work said something the other day that made me think...I mean really think! I say I am a Christian so people are watching how I react to life. Do I fall apart? am I stressing out? Do I look like I am happy or have peace? what am I doing to make them want Jesus? How is my witness to those that are lost? Are you wondering what they said that made me get all deep and think lol I had to leave ON TIME to get to an appt with child support enforcement and I just said I had to make sure I left because I had an appt. I didn't mention what it was for and they asked if everyone was ok. They thought it was a Dr appt. Anyway, I said that the ex had lost his job and hadn't been paying support so I needed to get it on record...it is a violation of the court order and he is in contempt. I am not trying to be mean to him. My co-worker just looked at me with sad eyes and said something to the effect of how was I going to make it? I told them that Billy wasn't my provider that God is still my Jehovah Jireh and I meant it. Then on the way to the appt I started thinking that what if I had fallen apart and had been living like I didn't have faith..this has been going on for over a month....would that have hurt my witness? Yes, I AM human and that is allowed but what if I didn't get right back up when I fell? what if I stayed in that pit? what would possibly make them want a life without faith? So I started thinking about that 'intentional witness' that we have been talking about at church and small groups. Do people see ME as a Christ Follower or just like everyone else they know? Do I laugh at the same things the world does? Do I love the same way? Am I compassionate with my friends? Do they know they can depend on me or call if they need anything or am I selfish with my time? How I react to the child support situation will show my ex where I am with God also so I have to be careful about what I say and how I do this:-/ That truth made me say OUCH! Oh my flesh wants SOOOOO much to tell him he is being a deadbeat dad and a few other things but Saturday evening I felt like I was given this verse
Exodus 14:14 (The Message)
14 God will fight the battle for you. And you? You keep your mouths shut!"
Then on Sunday night the guy preaching (my pastor was in Kenya) was talking about the disciples being on the boat and panicking in the storm and they woke Jesus up and he told them to BE QUIET and BE STILL! I was like OK I GET IT!! I will BE QUIET and let YOU fight this battle for me. That doesn't mean I don't file charges but it does mean I keep my mouth shut with the ex lol I did let him know that I was going to the appt and the choice was his to pay or have to go to court but I was really nice about it. I just didn't want to feel like I did it behind his back. Now the hard part is to wait...and to trust in the waiting and not let this take over my thoughts or my life. I know the harsh reality if I don't get child support soon but I also know that God won't let that happen. He did not bring me to Oklahoma to watch my kids go hungry or be homeless. He has plans and those plans are to prosper us and NOT harm us. I can rest in that...In the waiting I need to be intentional about my life and what others are seeing. Not fake but I SHOULD have something more..I should have the fruits of the spirit in me! I should have peace that passes all understanding and if I don't I need to get in the Word and spend time with my God until I do. People are watching and what am I doing to further the kingdom? what is my witness?? this verse sums up my desire....
Philippians 4:4-7 (The Message)
4-5Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you're on their side, working with them and not against them. Help them see that the Master is about to arrive. He could show up any minute!
6-7Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.