Teenagers are given such a bad rap so I want to share this story with you...I work at a large high school and my church is in the same neighborhood so I see a lot of our youth group at school. Lately I have had a huge burden for these kids....a lot of the kids from school have shared details of their home life with me and some of the stories just break my heart...I mean send me to my knees because I can't imagine living through some of that withOUT God. Two of the girls that I have become close too are "atheists" and THAT breaks my heart so a couple of Wednesdays ago I challenged the youth group to seek out those who are sitting alone and invite them to church or just make friends with them..you know be that light thing:-) Several of them took me very seriously and we have exchanged cell numbers so that we can tm or call each other when opportunities arise. I haven't shared details with them about the others lives..I HATE gossip on so many levels....BUT I have made sure I introduced them to each other. Watching the teens every day seeking out new people just touches me in a way I can't explain. I LOVE seeing them witnessing to others. One of the boys actually has business cards with his name and service times on them so that when someone is interested in going he can pick them up...he is an amazing teen that is just chasing God in a way I have never seen a teenager do...I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't called to the ministry soon:-) The little girl he picked up last Wednesday accepted Jesus and lots of tears were shed that night...mostly by me lol I love these kids and I never thought I would love my job SO much but what an opportunity I have...what a blessing that is!! There are 2000+ kids...I wonder if I can get a bus;-) I can tell you this... God is doing AMAZING things in my church.


Stupid ICE lol

First I start out my day sliding across a parking lot just missing a car! Then tonight I run to the store because living without my diet coke with lime is NOT an option;-) I was walking back inside and carefully trying to get around my car when I fell...the parking lot in my apartment complex is still covered in ice! Of course, I fell just as this young guy is leaving my neighbors so I got to have an audience;-) If that wasn't bad enough I got the whole "omgosh MA'AM are you ok?"...I am in denial that I am old enough to actually be a ma'am!.... I told him I was fine and I tried to laugh it off ...As I am sitting IN the ice I realize my whole bottom is COLD and wet. REALLY cold!! I stood up and my kids who are just so thoughtful were laughing at me. I am sure I looked amusing because when I fell you would have thought I was holding a newborn baby because I did everything to protect my diet coke from falling...sad isn't it?? When I stood up I was even more embarrassed because I ripped my pants lol My children didn't miss a beat and started singing "oops I ripped my pants" I will tell you from experience that a thong does not give you much protection. Off to take some tylenol.....stupid ice!


Since I just know you are all SOOOO interested in the little day to day happenings here I thought I would update:-) We were spared the "worst snowstorm ever to hit Oklahoma" this weekend. We did get LOT of rain and a few snowflakes but coming from Florida rain doesn't scare me. All it really did was manage to make a mess outside. I really am still loving the seasons even if I had to have someone dig my car out of the parking lot:-) I am hopeful that school will go back tomorrow and if you hear a scream later it is because I got the email canceling....Seeing as I actually work at the school I would like to go back because I like that whole paycheck thing:-P That and I like routine:-) This Wednesday if things are back to normal my church is offering several 8 wk classes and I signed up for one called The Jesus I Never Knew

I am SOOOO excited to be going to this class and the person teaching it is an AMAZING speaker so I just can't wait! Let me see...what else can I update you on?

Our counseling-- DivorceCare: Divorce Recovery Support Groups starts back tomorrow but I need to see how comfortable I am driving before I make the trip out there.

The whole sleeping in the bed thang--I am still sleeping in my bed and actually enjoying it lol After the first week I realized how comfortable my pillow top mattress is and wondered why it took me so long to go back to it...this week we have camped out in the living room but somewhere in the middle of the night I would always go back to my room...I missed my bed and that is a step forward. I am making progress in little ways like a while back I put my wedding stuff away. I NEVER thought I would be at a point where I could put it away but I did. I am healing in little ways..it will take time and I will learn along the way.

The eating healthy thing--I think we will get back on track once I can shop again. Hopefully TOMORROW! We are still eating good but *I* have had a LOT of chocolate being stuck in the house lol Would you believe I ate an entire bag of reeces?? ALL.BY.MYSELF. I did!

I guess that is it. Nothing exciting unless you want to know I just put chicken poop on my lips;-) It isn't what you think but it really works! I have a hard time with dry skin and chapped lips because the air here is so dry and I am used to living in a humid environment. Look they have a link so you don't think I really put poop on my lips lol http://ilovechickenpoop.com/

The kids are sad to be going back to school and we really have had a great time with each other. They are such good kids and although they are hyper active like their Mama they have good hearts. I love that and them! We even cooked in the fireplace just to say we did and they loved that! I guess that is it...off to finish listening to music!


Day 6 or 7 or whatever

And they're coming to take me away ha-haaa
They're coming to take me away ho ho hee hee ha haaa
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see those nice young men
In their clean white coats
And they're coming to take me away ha haaa

I think I have officially lost it:-) We camped out in the living room last night watching movies so I woke up to little kids sleeping peacefully on the floor. They look so sweet when they are sleeping. I am one of those annoying morning types so *I* woke up bright and early. I decided to enjoy the quiet for a few hours little while longer. Then I thought how can I wake them up this morning? they are NOT morning people at ALL so I try to be creative...ice, throwing things at them, tickling etc.. They get that from their Daddy and I still have the beat up alarm clock to prove it! Their Dad would wake up to the alarm and then chuck it across the room for waking him up! Isn't it supposed to wake you up? lol Then I decided that a pillow fight might wake them up. So I started pounding heads lol It didn't take long for them to join it and I realized my oldest is a lot stronger than I thought...OUCH! They continued to get along great for about 30 mins;-) So I decided to put a new rule in effect for today...great thing about being the Mom I can do that;-) they are only allowed to talk in song so they have to sing everything and rhyming is optional but they are a lot more creative than I realized. I have to tell you it is hard to be mad and fight with your sibling while you are singing lol Ok that is my fun for today ON DAY 6 or 7 of being stuck inside. Now I am just waiting for the email that tells me school is out again tomorrow and I am waiting on more snow. Really I am just amused by the weathermen and since AI isn't on tonight I could use the laugh.


I am SOOOO tired of seeing ice! I have been stuck at home since Friday afternoon and it doesn't look like it is going away anytime soon! We are actually expecting snow for the next two weekends! Yesterday I decided that the food supply had gotten low and I needed to go shopping. Really I just needed diet coke and chocolate lol Oh and quick breakfast foods because I am SO TIRED of cooking every meal. So I get up this morning with high hopes of driving to the store. But first I have to find my windshield under the thick ice. I start the car up and let it run while I play with the ice scraper...I wasn't making much progress but it sure is a great way to get rid of some aggression. Then my oldest son asks me how I am going to drive if the tires are under the ice. When you first look at them it looks like I have a flat tire but then you realize that my car hasn't moved since Friday and that is ALL ICE. I get inside and try to back up but the car is NOT moving..I am so frustrated at this point and start wondering if I could just walk to the store. I tried everything to get the stupid car to move and it wouldn't. I called a friends Dad to ask what the trick was to get my car to move and he told me it was to go back in the house because I was not driving. He came and rescued me so I could get a few things. It was the first time I had been out since this happened and it is way worse than I thought...way worse! I am so glad I didn't drive. I was already stressing about how to park! lol I mean I really thought it out and just couldn't figure out how you stop on ice. What I didn't think about was the hill to get out of the store. I don't think my car would have gone back up the hill once I got down. I also do not see how we will have school at all this week because everything is still under ice. I don't even want to think about next week because we are expecting snow this weekend. We had flurries today but the big stuff is coming. I know this isn't normal for Oklahoma but coming from a state that hasn't had snow since 1989 I feel SO unprepared and I just want to see the ground again. How many days till spring??



Oh my word I am soooooo excited!! Look what is coming on TONIGHT?? I keep looking at the clock to see if it is time!! Only thing that could be better is if I didn't have to cook tonight;-) :::::::::::::doing my snoopy dance::::::::::::::American Idol is coming on tonight!! If you have never watched a season get out from under that rock and join me in watching:-)

3 LONG days

I have been home for 3 days now lol What can you do in 3 days you ask?
You can vacuum 20 times because you never know when the lights just might go off and you would really like to keep the lines in the carpet.
You can watch the weathermen on TV and laugh at how excited they are when "round 3" of "ICE STORM 2007" hits.
You can watch way too much tv and realize you aren't missing much when you don't....although American Idol is coming and I can barely contain my excitement!! I missed Simon:-P
You can wake up every morning and jump in the shower first thing because the lights MIGHT go out and I like me some hot water.
You can promptly put clean pajamas back on because who really cares about getting dressed when you aren't going anywhere.
You can talk on your phone for so long that your battery dies lol Ok that only happened yesterday;-)
You can do 9 loads of laundry and wonder HOW they all got dirty when you haven't gone anywhere
You can pick out your "break up" cd Beauty from Pain 1.1 CD - By: Superchick - Christianbook.com
You can change your cell phones ringtone because the Boomer Sooner one is getting old
You can stare out the window like a little kid and wonder when this stuff is going to melt and if it doesn't how will I drive in it tomorrow?!
You can listen to music loudly because your neighbors left town.
You can listen to your family call to tell you that OK is on the news and they are showing cold cows and it is 75 back home
You can play every game with your kids you can find
You can say "stop running in the house" fifty million times and pray that SuperNanny will come
You can start praying for a house SOON because apartment living with 3 kids gets old real fast.
I am sure I have done more things like COOK, COOK and COOK some more. Now I have to clean because I have company coming later. YAY!! I never thought I would be so excited to see another person but I am:-) Thank God for friends!


This is it??

I hope the weathermen are happy! They spent the last two days scaring me for NOTHING. Sure we have some ice and sleet but this is so NOT what I expected. They made it sound like the end of the world was coming and judging from the lines at the store I am not the only one that bought their story. The shelves were SOOOOO empty and the only time I have seen anything that compares was a couple of years ago when Florida was repeatedly hit by hurricanes and tropical storms. I did have to drive in this yesterday when I got off work and that was not fun. I was the one going 5mph so I apologize to my OKC readers:-D THAT was an experience and I will NOT be leaving again until I can see the lines in the road and the ice has melted. I don't like being stuck in the house but this is bearable as long as I don't lose power...I can handle the stuff outside as long as I am warm inside. If you take my heat away and I have to rely on the fireplace to heat and cook I will die...well, maybe not die but I won't be happy;-)


As I was praying this morning this verse came to mind
Phil 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice...I decided to look it up in the message and it said
Philippians 4:4 (The Message)
4-5Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you're on their side, working with them and not against them. Help them see that the Master is about to arrive. He could show up any minute!

My pastor always say that to rejoice is to just "joy again" and I was thinking I am not "joying" the first time. I am content in all situations but joyful?? not even close...How am I supposed to be joyful? My heart has been crushed...I am exhausted trying to be a single Mom and the breadwinner..I hate that I don't get a break from cooking or cleaning. I don't like being the sole disciplinarian. I am lonely. I am sad. me me me me me...Then I realized *I* am holding myself back because I refuse to take God at His Word...I am putting buts in there where they don't belong...you know the ones...BUT that doesn't apply to my situation...BUT wait I am hurting here...how can you say be joyful when my heart is broken? I thought once I got through the holidays I would feel better but instead I got myself so far down into a pit I am having a hard time getting out. I am angry. I guess that is the stage I am at now...anger. I didn't ask for this. When I said my vows I meant them and I am angry that the marriage failed..not just for me but my children. They need a Dad. How could he do this to us? Some days it hurts so bad that I just wish Jesus would come now but then I realize that the one that broke my heart wouldn't be ready for Him. That is a sad thought..so many aren't ready but what am I doing to change that? if I am not living a joyful life then why would people want this? Talk about conviction first thing in the morning:-(

Father help me as I go to my job to share You with others. Help me to be a light to the people I work with and the teenagers I see everyday..help me Lord because I can't do this in my strength.....


This is our first attempt at healthy eating this year:-DWhat you are seeing is garlic sauteed spinach, fish and brown rice.
This was NOT a resolution;-) In Dec when I had to have my gallbladder out I realized I am getting old...I can't continue to make bad food choices and my body not pay. Coming from a Mom that LOVED to cook with bacon grease and pig parts this is hard for me lol My kids love veggies but I am sure the ways that *I* cook them take all the good stuff out. Greens and spinach are a HUGE favorite in our house so I thought I would start there. Tonight I didn't fry anything or cook it in bacon fat or with anything "bad" and the kids STILL loved it so maybe this won't be so hard for them...ok for me it might be;-) Actually I will admit the spinach is really good but the rice is brown and I like white rice...plus the fish here isn't fresh so that is going to be an adjustment for me. The kids are totally on board with this and when we went shopping yesterday they helped me find the "good stuff". We didn't buy any processed foods and the chips that I splurged on for them are baked. Not so hard to avoid the bad stuff if you stick to the perimeter of the store lol Hopefully this will be a good thing for all of us:-) Don't worry they are still kids and we will eat some "bad stuff" lol I just want to make sure that the majority of our meals are healthy and that they learn to make better choices. I will tell you that eating healthy is WAY more expensive! I'll let you know how it works out:-D


The Whole Sleeping in My Bed Thang...

It has been three nights now and I am committed to doing this so I can't give up now:-) My dd loves that she can see me at night. Last night she actually pulled my covers down, moved my pillows and put my remote and teddy bear in just the right place...it was really sweet so how could I not sleep in my bed? If you are wondering how she can see me we have a bathroom that separates our rooms and if you leave both doors open we can see each other lol Now if you are wondering why I wasn't sleeping in my bed already it is simple to me;-) Sleeping in the bed alone is a reminder that *I* am alone...every time I roll over that warm body isn't there to hold....when I move my feet I look for that foot to put with mine and it is not there. I miss him at night. I miss him during the day too but at night it is worse. At night I am no longer busy with life and can think or dream. I never wanted to be single. I LOVED being a wife so it has been hard emotionally. This whole thing has been hard. Anyway, last night I discovered something cool...first you have to understand that sometimes I don't like noise and when the kids are in bed I will watch the tv on closed captioning so I can enjoy the peace and quiet...Yeah I am weird;-) So last night I was laying in bed watching tv and I decide I am tired and am ready to go to sleep so I roll over. I didn't turn the tv off because I wanted the light and when I rolled over I realized I could still see the tv in the mirror on my dresser...pretty cool huh? BUT the best part is it is the reflection from my mirrored closet doors so the closed captioning is the right way! Did you follow that? You know how you put something in a mirror and it is backwards? well, this isn't because it is really from the other mirror so it is turned around already. It seems silly but I was thrilled that I can lay either way and still read the closed captioning and fall asleep. It really doesn't take much to make me happy:-) So that is how the whole sleeping alone is going...can you believe I have been here 5 months?? seems unreal to me...


Today I want to share with you someone who changed my life. Someone who didn't do anything other than shine the light of Jesus with her life. Matthew 5:16 (New International Version)16In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
A little over seven years ago I ran across someone who lived what she preached. Unashamedly. lived. what. she. preached. I saw her stand up for what she believed and do it with respect. I had never met someone with so much integrity either. Trust me I was looking to find something wrong for reasons that are hard to explain...I didn't WANT to see someone living for Jesus because I knew I wasn't. I hadn't been for a long time. I am not saying I was doing anything "major" but I wasn't living for Christ and I knew it...She never had to say anything about my life or what was wrong but her light was so bright...it was SOOO bright that all of my sins became evident to me. It sent me to my knees many times but I wasn't ready to let go and give my life back to God. I was putting my wants before God. I just wasn't ready to let go...not yet.. I still watched her life and how she reacted to different situations. At the time she didn't know I was watching so closely but do we ever? do we ever realize how the things we do and what we say impact others? people ARE watching our lives and if we are claiming to be Christians then we should be living it....and she was. Oh she just oozed Jesus and grace and mercy. She was just so real and honest that things I had hidden in my life for YEARS from everyone I was able to open up about. I was met with love and compassion that could only have come from a person with a heart for God. I felt safe sharing with her and that is something I don't do. I guard my heart from people and I try not to let them in....I have been hurt so many times by people who were supposed to love me unconditionally why wouldn't I kwim? not saying it is right but that is the truth. There was something different with her and I have been able to let down every single wall and let her completely in...I love her like a sister and I am blessed to be her friend. It was her love and support that helped me find the strength to do what God had been asking me to do...the best part is she never told me what to do but she pointed me to God and that is the best gift a friend could ever give. Over the years I have seen her in many different situations...I have seen her heart broken and what is inside is absolutely beautiful..I have seen her angry and wronged and I have watched her handle that with love...Ephesians 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath I have seen this verse in action. It is not something that I have learned yet but it isn't for lack of a great example. I really can't say enough wonderful things about her. I have watched her care for others including myself! I have seen her faithfully serve in her church. I have seen her raise two of the most amazing children without spanking. I am a better person because of her. I am closer to my Father now than I ever have been because she pointed me back to Him and He was waiting with open arms. Why am I telling you all of this? because TODAY is her birthday...today we celebrate her life.... Not everyone knows how much they impact others and I hope she knows how much she has changed my life. I can't imagine where I would be if I hadn't made the choice to follow God's will for my life and I had stayed. I can't imagine how my kids would have grown up had I NOT left. What would I have been teaching them? In the last seven years all 3 of my children have accepted Jesus as their personal savior...I wonder if that would have happened if I hadn't found my way home.... I can't imagine and I don't want to....So Happy Birthday
friend ...I hope this year you realize how much you mean to others and how much you change lives. Not just mine but those little ones you teach every week at church..it is a thankless job but one that I personally know changes lives. Thank you for being YOU. You are such a gift and a precious friend. I love you!