I am so beyond overwhelmed with the what ifs and our future that I am going to step back and take a break from blogging...I will update about my son for those who are praying. Before I go I want ya'll to know that I DO know that God is still God. I also know that being a single Mom is hard and lonely at times. I think Dr James Dobson answered it best here so I won't even try to explain....What encouragement can you offer to those of us who are single parents?
I think what people don't understand is that we are still human and God created us with the need for others. Adam had everything but God still created Eve so that Adam wasn't lonely...wouldn't it make sense that HE created us with this need? I think sometimes people forget that and think that we should be totally ok alone and just "trust God"...Don't get me wrong I DO trust God with everything in me but there are times I go to bed and cry myself to sleep because I have a LOT going on.....there are times I need to hear another adults voice after spending my days and nights with just kids...there are times I need others to just listen or pray with me...that doesn't mean *I* am lacking in faith. I am hurting right now and I am just so sick of hearing about how I should be coping...In Romans 12:15 the Bible says

15Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

It doesn't say tell them how they should mourn or give them advice on how to lean on God. It simply says mourn with them. I guess what I am trying to get across is just imagine you have had a horrible day or you got horrible news and you share with your dh and he turns around and says "oh just trust God...you know He has a plan and works all things out for good" when all you really needed was a hug...how would you feel? Or imagine you are a teenager and you go to your parents and they say "just lean on God"....well, that is how I feel. I feel like because I am single I am expected to not have feelings anymore. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone other than me but I think a simple "I am sorry" would have been best. I guess in a perfect world....


Dr Appt update

There was some insurance issues yesterday so they scheduled a sweat test to be done next Tuesday. I don't think I mentioned but my son has a birth defect called Pectus Excavatum and apparently it can put pressure on the heart and lungs. It hasn't always been an issue but with the rapid growth during adolescence it can start causing problems. The Dr ordered a chest xray yesterday and called with the results today. I wish I could say it was great news but she let me know she is scheduling a CT scan to happen in the very near future. Honestly I am not dealing with this very well...I know what the Word says so PLEASE do not email me about having more faith or leaning on God because right now I am not there and trust me it won't be received well. I am sure it is hard having a sick child as a married person but being single it just feels overwhelming. I KNOW I have God but I also feel alone. I also know this is all on me....I have already had to miss work twice in the last two weeks and I have to take off next Tuesday ....this might just be the beginning. If he has to have surgery like they think then I will have to figure out how to do that AND put a roof over my kids head and food on the table. Anyway, I am sure we will be fine...we always are.


Today is the day

I wish I could say I am totally at peace and not scared but that would be a lie. My oldest is being tested for Cystic fibrosis at 2:30 central time today and I know that one word can change our lives. I don't know how long it will take for the test results but I am going to beg ask to get them asap. This waiting is killing me. Thanks for the prayers....I need them:*(


Loratadine 10mg... $27.59
ProAir (200 puffs) 8.5gm ...$122.89
Advair 250/50 ...$210.99
Pataday.2% 2.5ml ...$287.89
Nasonex 50mcg 17g ...$284.89
Albuterol 0.083%... $57.99
Prednisone 20mg ...$11.99
Epipen .3mg ...$123.99
weekly allergy shots...?? don't know yet

seeing your child breathe....priceless

**thankfully the kids are insured so I didn't pay the full price



It has been a long day and I really am without words so maybe this will explain some..see the needles in this one? that is the ones they used to test my sons allergies. The scratch test didn't show anything so they did the needles under the skin...
all I will say is it looked painful:-(
This is Mr Stud showing off the writing on his arms
This is right after the injections..ouch:(

It truly didn't take long for him to start reacting...
this is the left arm

This arm has the dust, trees and grasses..obviously this is the right

They did some other tests and Monday they will test him for Cystic fibrosis
That is really all I can say right now...thanks for the prayers.


Here I am...

My hand is still broken but I am getting used to it:-) It is hard to be right handed and not able to use your right hand!! Some of you have asked how I have been and what I have been up to and rather than trying to answer separate emails I will tell you here.....On Sept 5th I broke a bone in my right hand. It is not an interesting story so just use your imagination;-) I could have been skateboarding or playing football or something else fun or I could have just been in the wrong place..you decide:-P Because I am a single Mom that needs her right hand to work I am unable to wear the proper cast so it has been interesting. I am also so not a good patient so trying not to rip everything off and use it has been hard!! And my life hasn't slowed down either!!...I have been busy but busy having fun lol Let's see if I can break it down in days

Sept 5th-broke hand
Sept 6th-oldest wasn't feeling well (asthma) so my help was gone. I decided I was hard headed so I went grocery shopping and cooked two dinners since the next day I wouldn't have time.
Sept 7th--ate the second dinner and went to church for a dance...I was doing childcare so I couldn't get out of it.
Sept 8th-Waited for the cable guy to install my highspeed (OMWORD I LOVE THIS!!) and cable while I watched OU win YAY! lol That night Auntie Jesica made the birthday dinner for my "big" 8yo
Sept 9th-church
Sept 10th-wow I think we were actually home this night doing nothing
Sept 11th-we had our new neighbor and her 4 kids over for dinner...awesome family!
Sept 12th-we had church and I met a friend at Starbucks for coffee
Sept 13th-went with my favorite person in the whole world to see her son play baseball (he did an AMAZING job!!" and then we all went out to dinner....I LOVE seeing them!! Makes my heart happy!
Sept 14th-Went with Jesica out to dinner withOUT children...her wonderful dh watched all 6 of our kids :-) Then we went shopping and of course, STARBUCKS:-D We always have fun when we go off!
Sept 15th-went to a cookout at friends and watched Facing the Giants which makes me cry every single time
Sept 16th-hey that is today!! I worked in the infant room at church with 5 babies under 6 months:-) SO MUCH FUN!

I think that should catch everyone up...Oh my oldest is seeing a specialist in the morning because of the incident in Florida if you want to send up prayers....hopefully they can figure out what caused his esophagus to close so he couldn't swallow:-/ Thanks for asking. Hopefully my hand will heal quickly so I can type without pain...until then I am stubborn so I will be ok:-P


Happy Birthday - you're 8!

Hello everyone, my name is Jesica. I'm Barbie's friend. She only has one hand, so she asked me to blog for her.

Today was the girl-child's birthday. She's now a big 8 year old!

Because I'm awesome, I offered to do her birthday dinner at my house, to spare Barbie from one-handed cooking. (And her poor children who would have to eat it!)

Here's what the Princess requested.

Yes, that is right. The 8 year old asked for blackeyed peas and cornbread. She is NOT a normal child. But I do what I'm told, so that's what we had. See ...

After much noise and merriment, there was also cake.

A good time was had by all. The birthday girl got great gifts, emails, phone calls, and even one text message.

Now, if you'll excuse me, there's a 13 year old who needs his butt beat.



typing with just left hand
will be back when i can use my right hand again
if i don't answer email don't take it personally


How rude!

Are people really to busy to be nice?? Today I was trying to forget that it was a holiday because they are still hard for me. One day I will get over it:-/ I had some errands to run and I needed to pick up an answering machine because once I have highspeed my home phone will actually ring...did you hear I am getting cable and highspeed? ;-) FOR FOOTBALL!! While running around the kids wanted to stop and get dinner at this little hole in the wall restaurant they like. When we got there the place was closed because of the stupid holiday BUT there was a cell phone in the parking lot so I picked it up. I called the home number and left a message that I had their cell and to call it and we could figure out how to get it back to them. I couldn't leave it at the restaurant because they were closed. We ended up trying out a different one that some friends suggested and that was even better because OH MY WORD THEY HAVE FRIED CHICKEN LIVERS!!! <----that was my middle child lol As we are driving home the owner of the cellphone called and just said "meet me at waffle house" and I explained that I have NO idea where that is and she needed to give me some directions. After telling her that I was near the Starbucks (I was so getting Starbucks) on Rockwell and NW Expressway she said she would meet me at Target. So I wait and wait and wait some more while sitting on the red benches with my 3 kids and 2 Target employees....If you know me I can't sit anywhere without becoming friends with whoever is sitting next to me and finding out their life story...I am so annoying like that! Anyway, the owner of the cell phone drives up and calls her cell ...when she sees I have it she hangs up and opens her car window and just takes it...she said NOTHING. My kids who were so tired of waiting said "now can we go home" and I told them that we could since she had her cell and the Target girl who is my new bff said "did you even know her?" so I explained I didn't but we had found the cell in a parking lot and I wanted her to have it back because *I* would be lost without my cellphone...can you imagine??!! Oh I can't even think about it lol All of a sudden the Target girl was upset FOR me and started fussing that the girl should have at least said thank you or something. The other Target girl said "well I KNOW God will bless you for that" and I told her that He has already blessed me greatly and even if I spent the rest of my life trying I could never thank Him enough for the things He has done.... But I don't know why rudeness still surprises me:-(

Something I never thought I would do

First I will tell you I believe in debt free living so I don't have credit cards and I don't like creating extra expenses. I have regular tv with rabbit ears with foil and dial up if that tells you anything! You could call me cheap but I am also very generous so I don't fit in just one category lol I am cheap with myself but will give you the shirt off my back if that helps explain me a little better:-) I know I am hard to explain and I have one person in my life:::::::::waving to Merci::::::::::that I think has given up so she just says "that is so Barbie"....I never know if that is good or not;-) Anyway, rewind to Saturday and I am so excited that football has started and I get to see OU play!! Then I realize they are on cable and I have antennas on my tv with foil lol...BOOOOO!!!!!....so I make plans with a friend that has Dish to go over her house and watch the game. Her husband was taking my boys to see a wrestling match so it worked out...oh and I needed to color my hair and she is a hairdresser so YAY for me lol So her and I hit Crest to buy football food and go back to her house and get ready...I am watching the time because I AM SO EXCITED! Then I find out it isn't on DISH! Stupid Dish people!! So I had to listen to it on the radio...I can't tell you how sad I was...oh wait yes I can because this is the conversation I had on Sunday.

Cox--hello can I help you?
me--yes I couldn't watch the OU game last night and that is unacceptable!
cox--laughing...we can help you with that
me--PLEASE DO IT NOW so this doesn't happen again EVER
cox--no problem ma'am...I see you already have phone with us so all I have to do it add cable and would you like highspeed?
me--I just want to see OU but how much?
cox--quotes some ridiculously low price
me--are you kidding? can you be here TODAY?
cox-no lol but we can be there during the week before the next OU game
me--that would be great but I work:-( do you have anything on the weekend?
cox--how about Saturday between 12-3?
me--hmm the game comes on at 11 but it is on ABC...hmm that is my dd birthday...hmm SURE lol
more info and we hang up

CAN YOU BELIEVE I just got cable for FOOTBALL?? ME?? the person who didn't even know what the line of scrimmage was...in my defense it kept moving and I am NOT kidding about that lol... I also had no clue what a down was or how many there were and I know I was a cheerleader in highschool but that didn't mean I knew what I was cheering for! We had a captain and we just cheered. Still last year I thought I would watch and see what the big deal was because the town closes down for football... here I am a year later getting cable and I am doing it for FOOTBALL!! Oh my word I AM an Okie:-P I may not be an Okie by birth but I sure am by choice:-D And I wouldn't change it because I LOVE it here:-D