I will be MIA till the 20th of April. I thought I would explain so everyone doesn't all worry at once;-) I know when I get too busy to blog I start getting emails and since I won't be online to answer them I wanted to clear it up here:-) I am OKAY! For the most part my life is great! I have the best friends and the best church. I love my job and I love the teenagers I get to see daily. Sure my ex hasn't paid child support so that hasn't changed but my God hasn't changed either...He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow!! SOOOO I am not supposed to worry right?? ;-) He is my Jehovah Jireh and that is what I am standing on. I am just going to take a break because I am doing a "discipleship guide" that last 38 days and during that time it suggests that we give up the one thing that could be a distraction...the computer really is the only one I have or the only thing I do daily...And it isn't going to be easy! When I was married the computer was my only outlet. I wasn't allowed to have friends so I was pretty isolated...it is part of being in an abusive marriage. I compensated by having online friendships that have lasted 14+ yrs...I am so blessed that some of them have turned into real friends that live in the same state:-) On the computer I found support when I was struggling with infertility and pregnancy losses...I found friends when I couldn't leave the house...In some of those friends I saw Jesus and remembered that I once had a relationship with Him and was able to rekindle that love:-) I was part of a prayer loop when I was taking care of my dying MIL...Those same people that went through infertility, nursing etc were also the same people that were there "online" when I made the decision to get out. They are the ones that encouraged me and prayed with me. That was the hardest decision I have ever had to make but God put people in my life to walk through it with me...even if they were online lol But right now I am trying so hard to go deeper in my walk and if giving up the computer for 38 days will allow me to grow then I am all for it. God is and will always be my EVERYTHING. He will be the one person that will ALWAYS be in my life when others come and go...I want to know Him in ways that I never have. I want His will for my life in all that I do. I want His heart:-) SOOOO all that to say... I will be back April 20th so don't anyone worry that I am sitting home in some pit or stressing about the what ifs in my life! I really AM fine!! If you feel the need to pray then please pray for my ex...his actions are hurting his children and I can't do a thing to protect them from it. I can only show them that *I am trusting God to take care of us and hopefully my faith will help them be ok with what is going on. Hopefully something will change his heart and he will decide to take care of his children and his responsibility. Until then I know God has us in His righteous right hand and we will be ok. I will also have to make some hard decisions if my ex doesn't do something soon and that will include a second job...Anyway, I am not worrying lol have fun without me!!