And as I have told you all along........you are on the verge of something BIG......more than you can even dream up......not only will you get through this, but there is some BIG restoration coming ahead
In May she came over my place with some other prayer warriors and took authority in my home and the nightmares that I have had for almost 23yrs ended that night! GONE! In fact, A LOT has happened in the last few months on a spiritual level that I can't even explain. I have found my voice and figured out who *I* am and guess what? I actually like me! I have learned NOT to live by feelings but to make decisions and live by what Gods word tells me...I don't have to feel anything if I know the truth. The FACT is I have been hurt by those who shouldn't have hurt me but the TRUTH is I am a child of God and He loves me! He promises double for my trouble so I have learned to forgive, pray for them and then wait and expect my blessing;-) It's a comin!! I have also been released from counseling and I am OFF my meds..I haven't been happier than I am now!! EVER!!
So back to my trip....I was SOO nervous about going back and to be honest the first few days I was so homesick for Oklahoma! I wanted to come home!! BUT I made the decision that I was going to operate in truth and to take my thoughts captive...if I hadn't done that my thoughts would have become words and they would have become actions etc....I had to continuously pray my way through the trip but by the end I could see God was ALL OVER IT!! I knew I served a BIG God but I never expected all of this!!!...I only prayed I would get through the trip but God allowed restoration. I can look back at home with fond memories and know that I truly can do ANYTHING with God on my side..."when you face your fears you become FEARLESS" and I AM fearless! I serve a MIGHTY God and He loves me! Leaving my children was probably the hardest thing I did but my kids are very grounded in the Word and I have to believe that God will protect them from all the evil they are in....Plus my daughter is very outspoken and is preaching the Word at 8 yo lol Hands on the hips and all!! Gotta love having one child that is choleric!! My oldest also really stepped up to the plate and acknowledged he would have to be the spiritual head of the household while they are there...I just hate what divorce does to families but I KNOW my God can work it all out for good because we love Him!
Ok what am I leaving out??? hmmmm I went to Jacksonville, Fl for a few days before my parents and I drove to Ringgold, GA (about 8hrs)...my brother has a farm with a store on it to sell his product...we also sold at the Farmers Market! There is some big thing going on about tomatoes and salmonella so he was on TV (the Judy show??)and in the Chattanooga Times Free Press...it was the June 19th edition..front page of the B section and you can see my brother, Ken (yes! that really IS his name!) and my Mom. I was able to pick fresh veggies from the garden AND collect eggs from 200 chickens!! Stupid things kept pecking my hands!! Oh and a DUCK flew INTO my head!! I am NOT KIDDING!! I think that is why people yell "DUCK" and not bird or pigeon or chicken...just duck because they are stupid! So are chickens!! I can tell you this I AM NOT A FARMER!! Still it was nice to see family:-) We came home after a few days and I was able to see more old friends in Florida. On Monday we drove to Orlando for me to catch my flight...don't ask lol It had to do with market realignment and bankruptcy with the airline....anyway, after 18 hrs of traveling and delayed flights and LONG BUMPY flights I was home...my dear friend picked me up at 1am and I came home to CRASH IN MY BED...oh how great it feels to be HOME!! It felt great to go to MY church last night. I have missed everyone SO MUCH and I am SO EXCITED to be home...and on the other side of my pain:-)...God is SO GOOD! If *I* can get over all that I have been through and relearn some MAJOR things...ANYONE can! God truly is the God of restoration!!
I think I am ready to fly:-)Those who know me well will understand why I picked this video lol I am extremely nervous about going back but I KNOW that God will be me and He won't leave me...plus I have a church and amazing friends here that I KNOW will be holding me up in prayer and just a phone call away. I just have to keep my focus on God and what He wants to happen on this trip! I am NOT the same Barbie that moved here almost 2 yrs ago. I am an Eagle Christian and I CAN do this because God is with me and promises to never leave me or forsake me....I will be just fine:-) And when I start feeling down I will see the butterflies painted on my toes to remind me that I AM FREE! That is a good feeling.....
"For the word of God is alive, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."
"All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness that the man of God may be complete, totally outfitted for all works of godliness"
I like this one in The Message Version
2 Timothy 3:16 (The Message)
Every part of Scripture is God-breathed and useful one way or another—showing us truth, exposing our rebellion, correcting our mistakes, training us to live God's way. Through the Word we are put together and shaped up for the tasks God has for us.
SOOOOOOO after really tearing into what the Bible says about our thought life I made a decision and I am going to challenge you to also pray about this and see if it applies to your life...
I have a game plan...for the next week I am going to examine ALL of my thoughts...not just my actions because some days they are different as you well know!! lol I am going to work on the renewing of my mind....I was trying to forget but really isn't renewing more about replacing the old thoughts and not just forgetting?? I may be correct in not responding to my thoughts but until I go beyond my thoughts to the attitude of my heart I am not doing anything...God looks on the heart and I need to also...if I don't see my thoughts as sin and replace them with the Word then I will NEVER be healed and that ain't happening cuz I have business to do;-)
So this week my prayer is......
"Search me O God, and know my heart. try me, and know my thoughts, and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
because... "as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he..."