Contest:-)

Look what

5minutesformom is giving away! We’re Giving Away A Dyson Slim Vacuum!!! 5 Minutes For Mom I love to vacuum so I just HAD to enter;-) Don't worry I never win anything but it can't hurt to try. How cool of Dyson US to do this!

The Weird Meme

Shalee tagged me to do this meme but geez where do I start? lol You are supposed to list 6 weird things but it will be hard stopping at just 6!

1) I can't stand using black ink...I mean canNOT stand using black ink. Any other color will do just NOT BLACK which makes filling out forms and legal papers frustrating for me.

2) I watch tv on closed captioning when I put the kids to bed. I am loud but can only handle so much noise in one day.

3) I am so directionally challenged that I can and have gotten lost in a parking garage! Not kidding either!

4) I am scared of escalators, stairs and...well, I guess anything steep or high... I am just scared of heights lol Why do you think I moved to another flat state:-P

5) Oh one that just happened...I HATE people standing behind me while I am typing. HATE IT!

6) I have weird eating habits...I either mix all my food together OR I eat one thing at a time. No rhyme or reason lol I just do it according to my mood that day. I am also a very SLOW eater:-) Always the last to finish!

Ok now to tag 6 people Merci, Ame, Larissa, Sarah, Paul and Lynn! Have fun!

If you haven't seen my prayer request please scroll down to see JustBarbie: Calling All Prayer Warriors ...I don't want to miss out on any extra prayers;-)

Calling All Prayer Warriors

Exodus 17:12-13

12 When Moses' hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset. 13 So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword.

I have always liked this story and hoped that I have been the type of friend that would be willing to hold up someone's arms when they were tired...well, now I am on the opposite end and I need your support. On April 5th at 9am I have to go to court with my soon to be ex. This won't be for the divorce but will cover other issues including custody. I wish I could say I have all the faith in the world and that I wasn't scared but I am. I have tried speaking the Word over my life because faith comes by hearing and I know that BUT I am just tired....so I am asking for your help. For the next week if you could set aside a few minutes each day just to pray for us I would greatly appreciate it. I believe in prayer and I believe God answers prayer but I am also human and I am a Mom...these are my babies... I know you have to understand that on some level and even if you don't understand please don't judge just pray...pray for God's will because that is all I am seeking. I believe beyond any shadow of doubt that God brought me here...That He brought me out of a bad situation and gave me the strength to do things I never thought possible. I don't believe He brought me here to fail. I know He has plans for me
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD! Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:12
I am just scared. I have moments where I am "fine" but to be honest the last two weeks have been filled with sleepless nights and lots of tears. I want this over with so I can move on. I am having a hard time even praying about this because I get so emotional...If I had the energy I would kick myself about my lack of faith but right now I KNOW I am human and I am weary. Oh that reminds me of a verse
Mark 9:23-24
23" 'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."
24Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"
Last night I was blessed that someone dear to me called and prayed with me before I went to bed...that was a gift because I know that nobody can fix this..I know that nobody can make this better BUT pointing me to the One that can IS A GIFT. I actually slept for 6hrs and felt like a new woman today. Now tonight that fear is creeping in again:::sigh:::SOOOO I decided to call on all my prayer warriors and maybe some I don't know...so if you feel led please pray for us? Ask others to pray? Feel free to share this on your blog if you want...I just need/want your prayers to hold me up for the next week. Thank you so much....

:::YAWN:::

Spring Break is over and I am T I R E D! First I lose an hours sleep and then you give me a week without an alarm clock and my internal clock is ALL messed up:-) I am sure I will sleep well tonight!
Last week was our first official spring break in Oklahoma. I don't think the kids missed much from back home other than swimming. Their Dad drove up Sunday from Florida and spent Monday with the kids. Monday he took them to the zoo, build a bear and Incredible Pizza. I was blessed to spend the day with a dear friend. We did Chili's for lunch and Johnnie's for dinner:-D Yep no cooking for me that day lol I can't remember the last time I went a whole day without cooking....The rest of the week the kids and I did little things like going to the dollar movies, walking around the "Oklahoma Beach" which is just a lake with clay but the kids kept calling it the beach, a nature park, rented movies etc. I also took care of little things that I have been putting off like getting an Oklahoma license...somebody should have warned me that they put your weight ON the front!! It was a nice relaxing break..well, minus Monday with all my stressing out although I couldn't have asked for better company. Now things are back to normal and I am exhausted. Is this a sign I am getting old? I remember the days when I could stay up all night and then work a double shift...now I need a week to recover from my week off.:::yawn::::off to cook dinner.

To all of you that emailed me after reading Scared I really appreciate your love and support. I had a hard time for a few days but I left church yesterday feeling so much better. I realized while I was listening to the sermon that I had let something someone told me take root in my heart and fear set in...the only way I am going to get through the next ten days is to read the scriptures and just trust God...He brought us this far I know He will take care of us. He always has:-)

One Year

So much has happened in the last year that some days it just blows my mind. Today is one of those days. Looking back I can clearly see God's hand in my life and I can see Him working out ALL the details. I couldn't at the time and little things that annoyed the heck out of me turned out to be things that would work to my advantage later. I wish I knew enough to just trust God then and not stress so much. This morning I was walking and just enjoying the beauty of Oklahoma. I really love the trees:-) I guess I should tell you I am one of those people that remembers things in detail so I can tell you what I was doing a year ago. Today I am in a very reflective mood so I have been replaying the last year in my head...A year ago today I was in Georgia looking around and deciding if that would be where I would start over. I had already been online looking at different states and trying to figure out what God wanted. My brother lives in North Georgia and offered to let us come look at some places around him. If I picked Georgia I would live near family and have that family support but it didn't feel right in my spirit. I can't explain it because it was the safest and most logical thing to do. Still I needed to know that what I was doing was God's will and I needed to feel that 100%...there was no room for doubt....The first thing I remember was being terrified of the mountains. I know some people look at the beauty of them but I was scared to death. I hated driving and not being able to see the road in front of you. We also went to Tennessee and up on Lookout Mountain... again I was terrified and just couldn't relax. I grew up in Florida so I didn't know how scared I was of heights lol I was able to mark Georgia and Tennessee off of my list. I am a planner so I was stressing out trying to decide where I was going. All I knew for certain was I couldn't stay in Florida. I also knew that any place with mountains wouldn't work. The map was getting smaller but I still didn't know where I was going and I desperately wanted God's will. There was no way I could move 3 kids by myself without knowing this was God's will. I needed His blessing and His protection so it had to be from Him. I remember being scared to death about doing this and wondering if it was the right thing to do. I also needed to prepare so I started an "escape fund". On March 29th of last year I deposited my first few dollars in it:-) One year ago I didn't know I would be sitting in Oklahoma. One year ago I didn't realize how much my life would change and how much *I* would change. I know I still have a LONG way to go but I am growing and I am learning to trust God. I am learning to let go and for me that is HUGE. One year ago I also didn't think I had the courage to actually leave. I knew I wanted to and I knew I needed to but I didn't think I could do it. I knew *I* didn't have the strength and I wasn't sure how that whole "I can do all things through Christ which strengthenth me" worked. Today I can sit here and say that God has taken care of ALL of the details and not all of them I can share right now. One day I will be able to and then you can see how much God has been there for us and has directed our path. God has shown Himself to my children and myself and even though my heart hurts I still feel blessed. I can't believe HOW much has changed in just one year. It makes me wonder where I will be in one year from now....I do know I have hope and one year ago I didn't think so...so much has changed:-)

Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Thank you Father for directing our path...thank you for bringing us to Oklahoma and giving us a wonderful church as our covering....thank you for the friends that truly make this easier...thank you for just loving us so much and caring about ALL the details.... I love You!

Visitation

Once again I find myself apologizing for not answering mail...I KNOW you guys care and I appreciate your prayers and supportive emails more than you know...I just can't always bring myself to answer them because when I start opening up I start crying (like I am doing right now lol)...please don't take my silence as meaning I don't care because I do. I just don't know how to do this right now and breaking down isn't going to help. My kids Dad came in town Sunday night and wanted to spend Monday with the kids. We are in the process of getting divorced and deciding custody so I was worried he would take the kids and run. It is something he has threatened in the past so it isn't like I am just being paranoid. The fighting started before he even made it into town because I didn't feel comfortable with the kids staying overnight at the hotel. To get them ready I took recent pics, weighed/measured them, made sure I knew what they were wearing and took Daddy's license plate number down. We had a solid time for him to return them and I knew I wouldn't breathe until I had my babies back. Thankfully someone understood my heart and how hard this was for me and they took me to lunch and allowed me to spend the day with them. It was so nice to laugh even if I was crying inside. I stayed in touch with my oldest through text message so when I started panicking I could say hi and make sure they weren't on their way back to Florida. The kids were so excited about seeing their Dad but my middle child didn't want to go off without me. That made me sad. If one day was that HARD for me how am I supposed to do a whole summer or a few weeks??...ok can't go there yet....but thanks to a wonderful friend I didn't pace the floors. I didn't have to do this alone and that was such a blessing. She didn't let me cry because she made me laugh.
"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!" (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)
I am thankful today that I have my children back with me safe and sound..I am thankful that God has placed people in my life that have been there for me and I pray He blesses them beyond measure because I know in this lifetime *I* could never repay them. I am thankful that I have a lawyer that will be going to court with me in less than 3 weeks. I am thankful that when I am quiet ya'll email or IM to check on me. I am thankful but I am also scared about the unknown. Thank you all so much for your continued prayers and patience with me. This is hard...

Psalm 91 (New International Version)

1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. [a]

2 I will say [b] of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."

3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.

4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,

6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.

8 You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.

9 If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-

10 then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.

11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;

12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.

16 With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."

Trees

Aren't these so pretty??? They are EVERYWHERE! I am so used to seeing just green when I drive so things like hay like colored grass, open fields and now WHITE trees just stand out. March in Florida was always fun because it was the only time you could see lots of color and this pic shows the azaleas that were in bloom.

Since this is my first spring here I don't know what to expect so every day is exciting. So far the trees alone are fascinating to me lol I am loving the whole white tree thing! I have one tree in my front yard that is still bare so I can't wait to see what grows on it! Today I had to go shopping..yes, I have the flu but things still have to happen so no fussing:-P As I was driving to the store I couldn't help but stare at the trees...this is just a bonus to living in the "promised land"...fall has always been my favorite season but spring here might change that:-D

*****UPDATE I didn't get to lay around and doing nothing like I planned because the oldest needed to see a Dr. So it is 5:30 and we just got home from the Dr and pharmacy. After having swabs stuck up the nose it has been confirmed it IS the flu:( Four scripts of Tamiflu, Advair and Albuterol I am now ready to cook dinner, do baths, start laundry, run the vacuum and hopefully get kids in bed by 8 I will then lay down but now I am too tired to cry. I guess that is a good thing....


I have decided that being sick while single is some kind of cruel joke. It is even worse when the one child that could have possibly helped is sick too. The list of things to do this week is getting longer and I feel like I am spinning my wheels. I have to go to work because bills don't stop just because I am sick:-( If you are looking for me this afternoon I will be laying on the couch with a remote doing nothing and stressing about all that needs to be done....and trying not to cry.

New Site

The Covering has moved! Thanks to Heather at Graced by Christ we have a real domain name and a very pretty site:-) For those who don't know it is a blog written by singles for singles. Some are single because of death, incarceration, deployment or divorce like myself... Different reasons but same God:-) So come check out the new site at The Covering~ for Single Parents and meet some really amazing women like Ame, lizzie, martie and winter...I know I have already been blessed by these women. It is amazing how God can take something so painful and use it for good...hmm sounds like that ALL things work together for good thang;-)

My Kids

Some days I can sit and watch my kids and just see their personalities...my 7yo dd is a lot like her Mama but she does things that remind me of her Grandma Elaine that passed away. Her Grandma was very anal about cleaning and I am not...don't get me wrong I like a clean house but I don't follow my kids about with Windex like she did lol My almost 10yo is an artist and sees the world differently than we do and I am always amazed at the things that come out of his mouth. My 13yo is a mix of his Daddy and myself and tends to be sarcastic like both of us. I like sarcasm so that is a good thing;-) Now that you know a little about them I want to share a conversation that actually happened in our house last night.

DD(talking fast)--Ok I have a plan...tomorrow when we get home we will all have something to drink...then we will have a snack..then we will go into the boys room and take all of their clothes out of their drawers and closet and organize them...we can give away the clothes that don't fit...do you know anyone that size? well, that doesn't matter right now...so when we finish their room we will go into mine...we can do mine last since I am just one person.

Me--when am I supposed to cook dinner?

DD--you can start it when you come home or we could go through a drive thru or call out.

Boys are laughing and I am just shocked that she has put this much thought into it and she was VERY serious. Remember she is only 7

Me--that sounds like a spring break project and not something I really want to do when I get off work ok?

DD--ok but we NEED to do it because the clothes in their drawers are not folded right

Me--yeah I need to do it anyway because spring is coming and I need to find their shorts

9yo DS--Oh my God E! now we have to clean during spring break!

DD- we say GOSH...I am pretty sure this came with an eyeroll too because they were already fussing at each other earlier.

13yo--why DO people say God when they don't believe in Him? why don't they say oh my budda? or oh my scientist? or oh my monkeys? .......

9yo (shaking head)--I have seen the video of my birth and I know it was me so I KNOW I am not adopted but sometimes I wonder

Oops!

I promised an update and when I checked email this morning I was reminded I didn't give you one:-) Sorry! This week has just been busy. Nothing major just life...I have been playing catch up since the kids have been sick on and off for what seems like forever...I think it was more like 3 weeks but gosh they couldn't do it all at once lol I would get one better and the other would get sick! Not only do I hate seeing my kids sick but it was also frustrating because I have to work.

Monday we went to counseling DivorceCare: Divorce Recovery Support Groups and as much as *I* hate going it turned out to be something I needed. I was given some much needed encouragement.

Tuesday I was given the opportunity to love on a friend and her family. Her brother had open heart surgery and is doing wonderfully.

Wednesday I had my class on The Jesus I Never Knew and that has been a blessing too. I truly love my church and the people in it...oh and I can't forget this!! Wednesday night one of the teens from my school came to church. This is a girl who has told me she was an atheist and wouldn't come...I just know I serve a big God so I didn't let that stop me lol Wednesday night she came and when I took her home that night I was able to talk to her more in depth....I think she found the love and acceptance she has been so desperately seeking. Thursday she came to school with a tshirt from the youth group and Friday she had "I love Jesus" written on her hand:**) Oh and want to see how God has truly made my world a little smaller...I know I shared with ya'll that when I moved here I moved away from my entire family. I do have a friend that lives here that I met online 7 1/2 yrs ago....different city but still close enough;-) Since I have been online since the early 90's I have friends in just about every state but she was special so I was thrilled when God asked me to move here. Well, the friend of mine whose brother had open heart surgery on Tuesday has known my friend here longer than I have and loves her just as much:-) They attended the same church for I think 10yrs but her brother that had the surgey actually goes to MY church...cool huh? So when I called to let my church know he was in the hospital and was going to have surgery they were like "how do YOU know him?" guess it seems weird that this girl from Florida actually knows his family. I explained that I work with his sister. I am sure God knew all of this before I moved here but I thought it was cool that I work with a woman who has known my dear friend for years and that her brother attends my church...before you think that is just a coincidence let me remind you that Oklahoma has a church on EVERY corner so it isn't like these are the only two churches here:-) Here is the other part I thought was just SO GOD...Friday I was telling her about my little atheist girl and when I mentioned her name she knew her and just teared up...she shared with me some things that I won't share here without her permission but know that God is working in the school and it is a beautiful thing to watch....what an opportuinity to share the gospel with 2000 students. I just feel blessed to be a part of it.

Thursday my middle child had a play at school...too cute!!

Friday night I was able to..wait I already typed this out here ----> The Covering ~ for Single Parents: Starbucks and Kids:-)
Which brings me to this..I know I have some people that read here that are single and if I haven't shared with you this site here ya go The Covering The wonderful Ame has started a blog for singles written by singles. If you haven't already checked it out go now. We are all single for different reason but we all serve the same God. Enjoy your weekend!!

Things have been crazy busy and I will try to update when I get back from my son's play. I did want to share this with you:-)

Dear Child,
You may not know me, but I know everything about you. Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up. Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways. Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. Matthew 10:29-31
For you were made in my image. Genesis 1:27
In me you live and move and have your being. Acts 17:28
For you are my offspring. Acts 17:28
I knew you even before you were conceived. Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation. Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. Acts 17:26
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother's womb. Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day you were born. Psalm 71:6
I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me. John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. 1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. 1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. 1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect father. Matthew 5:48
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. James 1:17
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. Matthew 6:31-33
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore. Psalms 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you. Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession. Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvelous things. Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires. Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. Revelation 21:3-4
And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth. Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus. John 17:23
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being. Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. 1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. Romans 8:31-32
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me. 1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you from my love again. Romans 8:38-39
Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen. Luke 15:7
I have always been Father, and will always be Father. Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is…Will you be my child? John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you. Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad.
PERMISSION TO COPY:The printed version of Father's Love Letter can be copied and used for free distribution providing the following copyright information is displayed... 'Father's Love Letter used by permission Father Heart Communications Copyright 1999-2006 www.FathersLoveLetter.com'