So much has happened in the last year that some days it just blows my mind. Today is one of those days. Looking back I can clearly see God's hand in my life and I can see Him working out ALL the details. I couldn't at the time and little things that annoyed the heck out of me turned out to be things that would work to my advantage later. I wish I knew enough to just trust God then and not stress so much. This morning I was walking and just enjoying the beauty of Oklahoma. I really love the trees:-) I guess I should tell you I am one of those people that remembers things in detail so I can tell you what I was doing a year ago. Today I am in a very reflective mood so I have been replaying the last year in my head...A year ago today I was in Georgia looking around and deciding if that would be where I would start over. I had already been online looking at different states and trying to figure out what God wanted. My brother lives in North Georgia and offered to let us come look at some places around him. If I picked Georgia I would live near family and have that family support but it didn't feel right in my spirit. I can't explain it because it was the safest and most logical thing to do. Still I needed to know that what I was doing was God's will and I needed to feel that 100%...there was no room for doubt....The first thing I remember was being terrified of the mountains. I know some people look at the beauty of them but I was scared to death. I hated driving and not being able to see the road in front of you. We also went to Tennessee and up on Lookout Mountain... again I was terrified and just couldn't relax. I grew up in Florida so I didn't know how scared I was of heights lol I was able to mark Georgia and Tennessee off of my list. I am a planner so I was stressing out trying to decide where I was going. All I knew for certain was I couldn't stay in Florida. I also knew that any place with mountains wouldn't work. The map was getting smaller but I still didn't know where I was going and I desperately wanted God's will. There was no way I could move 3 kids by myself without knowing this was God's will. I needed His blessing and His protection so it had to be from Him. I remember being scared to death about doing this and wondering if it was the right thing to do. I also needed to prepare so I started an "escape fund". On March 29th of last year I deposited my first few dollars in it:-) One year ago I didn't know I would be sitting in Oklahoma. One year ago I didn't realize how much my life would change and how much *I* would change. I know I still have a LONG way to go but I am growing and I am learning to trust God. I am learning to let go and for me that is HUGE. One year ago I also didn't think I had the courage to actually leave. I knew I wanted to and I knew I needed to but I didn't think I could do it. I knew *I* didn't have the strength and I wasn't sure how that whole "I can do all things through Christ which strengthenth me" worked. Today I can sit here and say that God has taken care of ALL of the details and not all of them I can share right now. One day I will be able to and then you can see how much God has been there for us and has directed our path. God has shown Himself to my children and myself and even though my heart hurts I still feel blessed. I can't believe HOW much has changed in just one year. It makes me wonder where I will be in one year from now....I do know I have hope and one year ago I didn't think so...so much has changed:-)
Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Thank you Father for directing our path...thank you for bringing us to Oklahoma and giving us a wonderful church as our covering....thank you for the friends that truly make this easier...thank you for just loving us so much and caring about ALL the details.... I love You!