3/22/2007

One Year

So much has happened in the last year that some days it just blows my mind. Today is one of those days. Looking back I can clearly see God's hand in my life and I can see Him working out ALL the details. I couldn't at the time and little things that annoyed the heck out of me turned out to be things that would work to my advantage later. I wish I knew enough to just trust God then and not stress so much. This morning I was walking and just enjoying the beauty of Oklahoma. I really love the trees:-) I guess I should tell you I am one of those people that remembers things in detail so I can tell you what I was doing a year ago. Today I am in a very reflective mood so I have been replaying the last year in my head...A year ago today I was in Georgia looking around and deciding if that would be where I would start over. I had already been online looking at different states and trying to figure out what God wanted. My brother lives in North Georgia and offered to let us come look at some places around him. If I picked Georgia I would live near family and have that family support but it didn't feel right in my spirit. I can't explain it because it was the safest and most logical thing to do. Still I needed to know that what I was doing was God's will and I needed to feel that 100%...there was no room for doubt....The first thing I remember was being terrified of the mountains. I know some people look at the beauty of them but I was scared to death. I hated driving and not being able to see the road in front of you. We also went to Tennessee and up on Lookout Mountain... again I was terrified and just couldn't relax. I grew up in Florida so I didn't know how scared I was of heights lol I was able to mark Georgia and Tennessee off of my list. I am a planner so I was stressing out trying to decide where I was going. All I knew for certain was I couldn't stay in Florida. I also knew that any place with mountains wouldn't work. The map was getting smaller but I still didn't know where I was going and I desperately wanted God's will. There was no way I could move 3 kids by myself without knowing this was God's will. I needed His blessing and His protection so it had to be from Him. I remember being scared to death about doing this and wondering if it was the right thing to do. I also needed to prepare so I started an "escape fund". On March 29th of last year I deposited my first few dollars in it:-) One year ago I didn't know I would be sitting in Oklahoma. One year ago I didn't realize how much my life would change and how much *I* would change. I know I still have a LONG way to go but I am growing and I am learning to trust God. I am learning to let go and for me that is HUGE. One year ago I also didn't think I had the courage to actually leave. I knew I wanted to and I knew I needed to but I didn't think I could do it. I knew *I* didn't have the strength and I wasn't sure how that whole "I can do all things through Christ which strengthenth me" worked. Today I can sit here and say that God has taken care of ALL of the details and not all of them I can share right now. One day I will be able to and then you can see how much God has been there for us and has directed our path. God has shown Himself to my children and myself and even though my heart hurts I still feel blessed. I can't believe HOW much has changed in just one year. It makes me wonder where I will be in one year from now....I do know I have hope and one year ago I didn't think so...so much has changed:-)

Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.


Thank you Father for directing our path...thank you for bringing us to Oklahoma and giving us a wonderful church as our covering....thank you for the friends that truly make this easier...thank you for just loving us so much and caring about ALL the details.... I love You!

9 comments:

Larissa said...

Interesting post...I too have been in a reflective mood. My birthday is tomorrow and I've been thinking about how much has changed since my last birthday. It can be mind blowing, huh? I never thought so much could happen in one year, and every year I think that, but this year definately takes the cake. I also think about one year from now, what will be happening. How far will I have gotten in the healing. I'm right there with ya! I'm glad you're enjoying Oklahoma. I have a ton of family up there. Some in Norman, Purcell...all around. In Texas we usually make fun of the Okies...but I think it is a good state.

Kili @ Live Each Moment said...

Great post. I too am in Oklahoma and I love it. Hope you are doing well.

Vicki said...

Hey, I'm still here in Georgia and not far from the mountains. So good to hear how God works things out. God bless you. I hope to email you soon.

Fiddledeedee (It Coulda' Been Worse) said...

Your story has just blown me away. It is so uplifting to me to hear about someone who can trust in God for everything, in the midst of the storm. God bless you in your new home!

Lynn said...

Your journey has been amazing to me. I am such a creature of habit/habits that I can not even begin to imagine having to be as strong as you have been. God is surely powerful in your life. I prefer to think of your past few years as preparing for a wonderful journey and not just a life of heartache and hardships. You have made silk out of a sow's ear.

Sarah said...

You are truly a spiritual champion in my book. Your faith is Christ and following His will inspires many, and I am sure that HIS light will shine through to all the people you will encounter over the next few weeks. Know that you are in the prayers of many as we lift you and your children to God to uphold His justice for your family :)

Deborah Hooper said...

In 1996, my husband and I convinced our associates that we were crazy by packing up like Abraham and leaving Baton Rouge for Shreveport, LA. We both gave up jobs and followed the will of the Lord. What made no sense to anyone else has been the greatest blessing of our marriage. To paraphrase an old saying, be sure its God and go ahead.


Come fellowship with me at rosebee.blogspot.com

Paul said...

We grew up singing "Trust and obey" but to really trust God with your heart and life is the greatest lesson you can learn. Like Lynn said, you are on an amazing journey. Keep asking for more faith each day. Keep trusting God. Love Him with all your heart and trust him with all your life!

Franklin5 said...

Hi, Barbie! I just popped over here to thank you for the sage advice on Big Mama's blog about boiled peanuts in a can (and fret not, I have taken your warning to heart and will stay far away from them, no matter how bad the cravings become). Instead, I found this motivational, uplifting post! Thank you so much for sharing your moving testament to faith... I'll be thinking of it today, and sending good thoughts your way.

Take care...
Amy