The Whole Sleeping in My Bed Thang...

It has been three nights now and I am committed to doing this so I can't give up now:-) My dd loves that she can see me at night. Last night she actually pulled my covers down, moved my pillows and put my remote and teddy bear in just the right place...it was really sweet so how could I not sleep in my bed? If you are wondering how she can see me we have a bathroom that separates our rooms and if you leave both doors open we can see each other lol Now if you are wondering why I wasn't sleeping in my bed already it is simple to me;-) Sleeping in the bed alone is a reminder that *I* am alone...every time I roll over that warm body isn't there to hold....when I move my feet I look for that foot to put with mine and it is not there. I miss him at night. I miss him during the day too but at night it is worse. At night I am no longer busy with life and can think or dream. I never wanted to be single. I LOVED being a wife so it has been hard emotionally. This whole thing has been hard. Anyway, last night I discovered something cool...first you have to understand that sometimes I don't like noise and when the kids are in bed I will watch the tv on closed captioning so I can enjoy the peace and quiet...Yeah I am weird;-) So last night I was laying in bed watching tv and I decide I am tired and am ready to go to sleep so I roll over. I didn't turn the tv off because I wanted the light and when I rolled over I realized I could still see the tv in the mirror on my dresser...pretty cool huh? BUT the best part is it is the reflection from my mirrored closet doors so the closed captioning is the right way! Did you follow that? You know how you put something in a mirror and it is backwards? well, this isn't because it is really from the other mirror so it is turned around already. It seems silly but I was thrilled that I can lay either way and still read the closed captioning and fall asleep. It really doesn't take much to make me happy:-) So that is how the whole sleeping alone is going...can you believe I have been here 5 months?? seems unreal to me...