12/26/2006

I knew the holidays would be hard but I was surprised by how hard they truly were. I think the flood of emotions surprised even me. I am not going to sit here and focus on the negative because it was hard enough to live without going into detail and bringing up all those emotions again...I DO want to share with you how blessed I have been these past few months and in sharing it with you I am hoping to lift my own spirits:-) When I moved to Oklahoma I moved here completely on faith. It was scary as heck with 3 kids but I knew that it was Gods will and I have no doubt He is blessing that obedience... Nobody that is here can deny how God has taken care of us. I mean EVERY detail. Before I moved here I had a few fears about moving so far away from everything and everyone I ever knew...there is a sense of safety being close to family kwim? My biggest fears were child support stopping, my car breaking down and what to do with my kids in the event of a medical emergency...if you know me you understand I HAVE to have a plan, a backup plan and sometimes a backup for the backup plan. Moving here meant totally relying on God and not having a plan.....talk about stepping out of my comfort zone! Still I had a peace because this IS God's will for us even if nobody understood why. In the beginning everything fell into place..I found a job and child support was still coming in but I think God wanted me to trust Him more. I had a few small tests along the way and then I had to stand up for what I believed. My soon to be ex husband quit his job and decided to relocate here. I was scared to death but I had to make a decision to believe that God was my provider...my Jehovah Jireh...not man...not my soon to be ex. I had to believe that AND make a decision that could cost me child support...and temporarily did. As you know he moved back to Florida but he was without a job for a month....Then my car that I bought right before I moved here broke down. I was scrambling to figure out what to do..I mean I CAN do some car repairs but I didn't have any tools and I knew this was something major. I was trying so hard to have faith and to trust that God had a plan..I mean REALLY hard... but this was my car...my way to work...the only transportation I have... I quoted all the scriptures and spoke the word of God to God....I prayed and prayed and then I cried. I was at a loss as to what I was going to do. I called my family and they said "let us know how that works out for you"...I felt SO alone and I think God knew and He put it on someones heart to call me right then and they reminded me that God was in control and really did have a plan. I hung up feeling better and then my church called and within minutes someone else was calling and my car was being towed. My church fixed my car, put gas in it and washed it for FREE. I didn't even know where my car was and didn't care because at that point I knew God had it all under control. I couldn't have felt any more blessed than I did right then...at least I didn't think I could. I have never seen a church love on someone like they have us. The only fear left was a medical emergency and if you read a few posts ago you know I just had surgery. I learned what my dear friends family meant when they said "we rally" because they did...they picked up my car and brought it home, picked up my kids, fed them, did laundry, kept them overnight, took them to school, went shopping for me and then some! I woke up after surgery to them standing around my bed that night and I couldn't have felt more loved than I did right then. My friend had stayed at the hospital with me and took care of all the little details and even called my family back home to let them know what was going on. My church then took over and delivered meals for lunch and dinner. I never asked for any of that and yet God was taking care of us in ways I never expected. God even took care of things I never thought of!!...I knew I couldn't afford much for Christmas this year. I also knew their father wasn't sending them anything either. My plan was to just keep the focus on the true meaning of Christmas....Instead of presents we would celebrate THE GIFT... I felt that my kids had already received a gift by seeing God work in our lives and answer prayers. God had a different plan and without me ever saying a word to my church they made sure my kids had an amazing Christmas and if that wasn't enough my prayer loop AND my infertility loop sent gifts for us. My kids were BEYOND blessed this year. They know that this Christmas was TOTALLY from God because Mom was busy keeping a roof over their head and I couldn't afford to go into debt for Christmas. God knew that and He provided. Isn't that amazing?? Isn't that just so God?? The best part of all of this is my kids have been talking about it and that has opened conversations about trusting God completely and with every aspect of our lives. I was able to tell them that even though moving here was hard if you seek Gods face and follow Him that He WILL take care of all the details. That is still the best gift my kids have received this year. I just hope and pray they remember this when God asks them to do something out of their comfort zone...I want them to remember 2006 not as the year that I left their father but as the year that God personally answered each one of our prayers and took care of us in ways I never asked or expected. I really am blessed and just so thankful that I serve a God that answers prayers.

Father help me to remember to count my blessings and look to the future because the past hurts too much...

Philippians 3:13-14 No, dear brothers and sisters, I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven. (NLT)

8 comments:

Paul said...

Wow! God is good. Hang tough. Divorce is not easy. It almost kills you and sometimes you wish it would just to be rid of the pain. Trust God and wait for his healing. It will come on his timetable, not yours.

Sarah said...

Again, inspiring~ You are amazing, His light shining~

BarBarA said...

You are amazing. I thought of you recently and knew it would be a very rough Christmas. You have a wonderful church there - God's hands and feet and shoulders and smiles.

Darlene said...

I like this thought and so I said a prayer for you lifting them up to God...

"I want them to remember 2006 not as the year that I left their father but as the year that God personally answered each one of our prayers and took care of us in ways I never asked or expected."

I also prayed for comfort and continued strength on your part. May God bless you and those kids in 2007 as He did in 2006.

Vicki said...

Oh, how awesome our God is! Your testimony of His grace during this really tough time is just what I needed this morning. (I've been divorced and without many things, but God has never failed me). Rejoicing in His goodness with you!! Thanks for visiting Windows recently. May God's continued provisions bless you and amaze you in the New Year!

Love & hugs,
Vicki

ChupieandJ'smama said...

It sounds like it has been a tough year for you! It also sounds like you have learned that your are stronger than you ever imagined and that God is always by your side. My, what a wonderful lesson! I wish you a blessed and joyous New Year!! God bless you and your family!

Janice (5 Minutes for Mom) said...

I know I just commented on your most recent tow posts - but I had to say WOW about this one too! You are so brave and what an incredible church family you have! What an example your children have in you - it sounds like you have done an incredible job with them.

Catez said...

Barb,
This is a marvellous example of how word of mouth can be used constructively. You taked to one person and then your Christian community were able to come to you.
It's a great set of examples of the love of Jesus in action communally. I'm glad your spiritual family were there for you - and that you were not alone after such a long journey. I've linked it on my blog today. :)