A Hushed Heart

If you ever wondered where I came up with the name for my blog here ya go....Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE music. I am also a huge fan of Casting Crowns:-) This song is how I feel a lot of the time

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say “Amen”, and it’s still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear
You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can’t find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

Some days I wonder why God doesn't just change my circumstances...surely I didn't ask for all of this. All I ever wanted was to be a wife and Mother....did I somehow do something to deserve this? Wasn't my love enough? Wasn't I enough? Then I realize it isn't my circumstances that need changing it is my heart. I was created in the image of God so I was enough. I am an heiress and the princess to the most high God. I am not saying I don't have to take responsibility but in my situation what happened wasn't even about me... it is about them and their heart. I can't change that but I can change me and how I react to this. It is hard for me to realize that but now that I am out of the situation and their behavior is the same with others I can see it has nothing to do with me...it is something that will continue in their life until they realize it is a problem. What I am learning is I can have peace even in the midst of the storm. Peace isn't the absence of trouble. The scriptures say that in this world you are going to have trouble so I wasn't promised an easy life. I was promised peace if I put my faith in God. I don't need to put my faith in what I see or feel but in what I believe. I believe the Word of God. Philippians 4:6-7 say Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
I haven't always had that peace and those closest to me know that. I can be hard to deal with at times because I don't know what to do with all of my emotions that go with divorce and some days I lash out hurting those I love the most:-( Then when I finally give up and fall at my Fathers feet peace comes...it comes when I finally release the need to God. I have a hearing in April and you would think I would be troubled but instead I have peace....peace that passes understanding:-) I know that God has directed my steps and as long as I continue seeking Him He will. He knows my needs even before I know them. I also have a peace because the truth never changes so I don't have to prepare. I have also been reading the Psalms lately and I have found so much comfort in them. So when I go in April it doesn't matter what things they are plotting against me because
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

I WILL praise You in the storm... Thank you for loving us and for continually taking care of our needs. Thank you for this peace that passes understanding...it feels good to have a hushed heart. I love you.....