Rambling all the way to Nowhere:-)

I know I keep disappearing and I get quiet and quiet has NEVER been a word to describe me! Ok Jesi and Merci you can stop laughing!! I promise I wasn't purposely being quiet..I have just been very reflective lately and my online time has taken a backseat. I still go online to look up scriptures because http://www.biblegateway.com/ is one of my favorite websites! I have a friend/mentor/sister that challenges me to grow in my walk with Christ so there are encouraging emails full of scripture that go back and forth and I need the internet for the different versions..... and I pay my bills online;-) I just haven't done the regular "how are you doing?" emails because I can't....There are soooooo many things going on in my heart right now and I am trying to sort them all out. I keep telling myself that this is nothing God can't handle and I know He will....in His time:-) My job is just to trust Him. It is scary when something happens to rock your world but in another way it shows you what you believe in and who you will trust in a crisis. I quickly found out where I stand:-/ Again I wish I could say I handle stress with grace but I don't. I have issues with trust and as much as I try NOT to live by feelings there are days that I still do. I am a work in progress but I am getting better! I can actually see progress and that is a good thing! I wasted a couple of weeks living by feelings until a dear friend gave me some tough love. She is that Proverbs 17 Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend type of friend. I am SOOO thankful that she doesn't allow pit dwelling or negative speech to come out of my mouth or I might still be there. I am also thankful for friends that call and make me laugh..I so miss you Jesi!!! Now instead of pit dwelling I am filling my mind with the promises of God and standing on that. One of the things that I am praying comes out of all of this is that my love walk with others will be stronger. I have learned how invaluable my friends are and how thankful I am for my church family. I have seen people be the body of Christ in ways I can't describe. One of the things that has blessed me so much is when someone sees what MY love language is and meets me there. I am complicated because I don't show love the way that I feel loved so some people get confused as to what my actual love language is. I show love by words of affirmation or doing for others (acts of service) or with gifts but I FEEL loved with quality time. I don't need gifts or words and I don't need people to do for me...I just enjoy being with people. I don't get drained in a crowd...I get recharged! Anyway, all that to say I do appreciate everyone's concern but I will be fine...I am just working out some things with God...In fact, that is going to be my focus for the next three weeks because I am starting a DANIEL FAST on Tuesday ...why am I doing this you ask?? For one there are some breakthroughs I am praying for in my life and in the life of someone I feel called to intercede for and I believe it is in Matthew 17 that some things only come by prayer and fasting....AND I am also doing it because I have a muslim friend at work that starts her one month fast and out of respect for her a few of us are doing a modified version....I know I am not muslim but we have had a some in depth conversations about our beliefs and I am hoping this will open the door for some more. Also back in March I read this verse

1 Corinthians 9
19-23Even though I am free of the demands and expectations of everyone, I have voluntarily become a servant to any and all in order to reach a wide range of people: religious, nonreligious, meticulous moralists, loose-living immoralists, the defeated, the demoralized—whoever. I didn't take on their way of life. I kept my bearings in Christ—but I entered their world and tried to experience things from their point of view. I've become just about every sort of servant there is in my attempts to lead those I meet into a God-saved life. I did all this because of the Message. I didn't just want to talk about it; I wanted to be in on it!

and realized I have seen this verse in action. I have been taught to figure out peoples personalities and love languages so that I can meet them at their level also. This is a sermon I have seen lived out over and over and over!!! So being the good student I am:::beam::::I am going to try and meet her at her level and share my Jesus in the process:-) See why I am thankful for the people God has placed in my life that challenge me to grow closer to God?? I truly am blessed.

Thanks again for the prayers and the concern. I appreciate them more than you know! Enjoy your holiday weekend. I need to get little ones to bed because we are meeting a family from church in Red Rock Canyon tomorrow...that is if I don't get lost! ;-)