2/02/2008

Court Update

Yesterday was an emotional day. It was sad and happy if that makes any sense to anyone other than me:-) The process was exhausting but I had wonderful a support system so I was not alone. Thank God for wonderful friends. There was a lot of compromise but in the end I think we did good. I have FULL custody of my children and that is ALL that really mattered...they are mine and even though he gets them for a few weeks each summer they still live with me. I won't post all the details but I did get no overnight girlfriend added so at least my kids won't have to see that...THAT was important to me;-) I stressed so much over this and lost so much sleep and I am just so glad it is over. Yesterday was also my 18month anniversary of moving to Oklahoma. Can you believe I have been here a year and a half?? Some days it still feels like a dream. In the last 18 months we have seen the hand of God in our lives in ways I never thought possible. They have been the most peaceful yet insane 18 months of my life. I have grown closer to my heavenly Father. I have grown as a person. I have been through counseling that is sooooo HARD. We have seen miracles in our lives. We have become a family of 4...that was the hardest for me because in the beginning I knew someone was missing but now it feels normal. This is our life and our new normal and that is ok. We are ok. When the judge told me I was divorced I cried. It hit me way harder than I thought it would. It's funny because my friends knew that would happen and I didn't. I wanted this and I was the one that left so I didn't expect it to hurt so much. Another friend had picked up my kids from school so I had to pull myself together and go get them. What I didn't know was her dh called out for pizza and had plans to watch wrestling with my kids so she could take me out to celebrate or for a shoulder. I think it was more of a celebration:-) I am divorced. I thought I would feel dirty saying it but instead *I know what I left. I know how far we have come and how much better our lives are. I am not going to let divorce make me feel ashamed because I am a survivor. I have learned that I truly can do ALL things through Christ. I was an abused wife. WAS. Now I am a single Mom that loves her kids and will do anything to protect them. I have learned to step out in faith and trust God fully. I am not perfect and never will be but I do love my Jesus. He loves me and that is enough. I am complete in Christ. For those worried....I will be ok...I really will:-) And I am divorced! It's over and I never have to go through that again and that is a wonderful feeling.

5 comments:

Sarah said...

I am so happy for the blessing that you have of close friends! I am also happy that it is over and that you are in a much safer, better, God willed place. A new normal is ok ;-)

martie said...

I am glad it is over for you and the kids. The new 'normal' is so awesome for you and them......may you all enjoy all of the blessings God has for you.

Love and hugs from Michigan, Barbie!

Karla (Grace) said...

I'm so glad to see how God has brought you through. I believe the pain He allows us to go through ends up having a glorious purpose of ministry and healing for others going through what God brought us through.

I'm thankful to the Father that it's over for you. Praising His name for He has been faithful!

beyond this moment said...

Barbie,
I know the road has been a long and hard one for you. I am so glad to hear you are finding peace.
Blessings,
Bethany (Lucie)

Sarah said...

Thinking of you and hoping that you and the kiddos have a great week!