Yesterday was an emotional day. It was sad and happy if that makes any sense to anyone other than me:-) The process was exhausting but I had wonderful a support system so I was not alone. Thank God for wonderful friends. There was a lot of compromise but in the end I think we did good. I have FULL custody of my children and that is ALL that really mattered...they are mine and even though he gets them for a few weeks each summer they still live with me. I won't post all the details but I did get no overnight girlfriend added so at least my kids won't have to see that...THAT was important to me;-) I stressed so much over this and lost so much sleep and I am just so glad it is over. Yesterday was also my 18month anniversary of moving to Oklahoma. Can you believe I have been here a year and a half?? Some days it still feels like a dream. In the last 18 months we have seen the hand of God in our lives in ways I never thought possible. They have been the most peaceful yet insane 18 months of my life. I have grown closer to my heavenly Father. I have grown as a person. I have been through counseling that is sooooo HARD. We have seen miracles in our lives. We have become a family of 4...that was the hardest for me because in the beginning I knew someone was missing but now it feels normal. This is our life and our new normal and that is ok. We are ok. When the judge told me I was divorced I cried. It hit me way harder than I thought it would. It's funny because my friends knew that would happen and I didn't. I wanted this and I was the one that left so I didn't expect it to hurt so much. Another friend had picked up my kids from school so I had to pull myself together and go get them. What I didn't know was her dh called out for pizza and had plans to watch wrestling with my kids so she could take me out to celebrate or for a shoulder. I think it was more of a celebration:-) I am divorced. I thought I would feel dirty saying it but instead *I know what I left. I know how far we have come and how much better our lives are. I am not going to let divorce make me feel ashamed because I am a survivor. I have learned that I truly can do ALL things through Christ. I was an abused wife. WAS. Now I am a single Mom that loves her kids and will do anything to protect them. I have learned to step out in faith and trust God fully. I am not perfect and never will be but I do love my Jesus. He loves me and that is enough. I am complete in Christ. For those worried....I will be ok...I really will:-) And I am divorced! It's over and I never have to go through that again and that is a wonderful feeling.