I know I haven't really blogged since Jesi went to be with Jesus but today there is so much on my heart that I am trying to sort through. I also haven't blogged because I wanted to make sure that God gets the glory and I am not just whining about life. This is such a small matter in the grand scheme of things and there are people I am praying for that are going through things unimaginable so this seems so very small...nevertheless this my life right now. Don't worry I haven't forgotten that God can make ALL things good and even in the bad stuff I will be blessed exceedingly and abundantly above all I can ask:-) I do believe that and I have lived it but I also know how overwhelmed I am at times. I guess a little background is needed. Last year my ex lost his job and didn't pay any child support for several months. I knew in my heart that God would take care of us but I also knew that my faith needed works and so I ended up working more than one job. God gave me a verse during that time because my flesh so wanted to call their Dad and tell him what he was doing to us...
God gave me this
Exodus 14:14 (The Message)14 God will fight the battle for you. And you? You keep your mouths shut!"
I actually blogged about it here
So over the year I did keep my mouth shut. The only contact we had was when he texted me about the kids and my answers were always short and to the point. I also was able to start saving things that will work to my advantage later...can't go into that just yet but eventually I will share how God was able to direct my steps:-) Anyway, the ex was eventually garnished and I was able to only work 2 jobs and I still do. We have managed to find a schedule that allows me the maximum time with my children and they are still able to do extracurricular activities such as academic athletes, orchestra, worship team etc It isn't always easy though and more often than not I am exhausted beyond measure. So imagine my surprise when *I was served papers to appear in child support court!! I had 3 weeks to get a lawyer and prepare a case..a bogus case!! He owes ME and he is taking ME to court??!! He is saying that he didn't miss any payments but that is so NOT true and the truth will come out tomorrow. The day after I was served the visiting preacher actually preached on this verse and it was the confirmation I needed to get through the last few weeks. I am not sure what tomorrow will look like but I still know WHO holds tomorrow. I am resting in that fact. I was rereading the verse which is so fitting to me because I have often said Oklahoma was my promised land. The verse is from that story:-) Anyway, today I read the verse right before it..
Exodus 14:13-14 (New International Version)
13 Moses answered the people, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. 14 The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."
So tomorrow I WILL stand firm and see the deliverance of the Lord!! Praise God for that!! I know we will be ok no matter what happens and honestly
I am only praying for Gods will and my children's hearts. I don't need revenge because God is fighting this battle for me. He will take care of us because we are His children. My flesh may want something different but fortunately I don't have to live by feelings lol I can live by truth. I just hope and pray this part is OVER for good! One of my hopes in moving to Oklahoma was the divorce wouldn't be messy but I guess that is unrealistic after two decades with someone. sigh. Anyway, long story short...pray?? please?? :-)