Rambling all the way to Nowhere:-)

I know I keep disappearing and I get quiet and quiet has NEVER been a word to describe me! Ok Jesi and Merci you can stop laughing!! I promise I wasn't purposely being quiet..I have just been very reflective lately and my online time has taken a backseat. I still go online to look up scriptures because http://www.biblegateway.com/ is one of my favorite websites! I have a friend/mentor/sister that challenges me to grow in my walk with Christ so there are encouraging emails full of scripture that go back and forth and I need the internet for the different versions..... and I pay my bills online;-) I just haven't done the regular "how are you doing?" emails because I can't....There are soooooo many things going on in my heart right now and I am trying to sort them all out. I keep telling myself that this is nothing God can't handle and I know He will....in His time:-) My job is just to trust Him. It is scary when something happens to rock your world but in another way it shows you what you believe in and who you will trust in a crisis. I quickly found out where I stand:-/ Again I wish I could say I handle stress with grace but I don't. I have issues with trust and as much as I try NOT to live by feelings there are days that I still do. I am a work in progress but I am getting better! I can actually see progress and that is a good thing! I wasted a couple of weeks living by feelings until a dear friend gave me some tough love. She is that Proverbs 17 Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend type of friend. I am SOOO thankful that she doesn't allow pit dwelling or negative speech to come out of my mouth or I might still be there. I am also thankful for friends that call and make me laugh..I so miss you Jesi!!! Now instead of pit dwelling I am filling my mind with the promises of God and standing on that. One of the things that I am praying comes out of all of this is that my love walk with others will be stronger. I have learned how invaluable my friends are and how thankful I am for my church family. I have seen people be the body of Christ in ways I can't describe. One of the things that has blessed me so much is when someone sees what MY love language is and meets me there. I am complicated because I don't show love the way that I feel loved so some people get confused as to what my actual love language is. I show love by words of affirmation or doing for others (acts of service) or with gifts but I FEEL loved with quality time. I don't need gifts or words and I don't need people to do for me...I just enjoy being with people. I don't get drained in a crowd...I get recharged! Anyway, all that to say I do appreciate everyone's concern but I will be fine...I am just working out some things with God...In fact, that is going to be my focus for the next three weeks because I am starting a DANIEL FAST on Tuesday ...why am I doing this you ask?? For one there are some breakthroughs I am praying for in my life and in the life of someone I feel called to intercede for and I believe it is in Matthew 17 that some things only come by prayer and fasting....AND I am also doing it because I have a muslim friend at work that starts her one month fast and out of respect for her a few of us are doing a modified version....I know I am not muslim but we have had a some in depth conversations about our beliefs and I am hoping this will open the door for some more. Also back in March I read this verse

1 Corinthians 9
19-23Even though I am free of the demands and expectations of everyone, I have voluntarily become a servant to any and all in order to reach a wide range of people: religious, nonreligious, meticulous moralists, loose-living immoralists, the defeated, the demoralized—whoever. I didn't take on their way of life. I kept my bearings in Christ—but I entered their world and tried to experience things from their point of view. I've become just about every sort of servant there is in my attempts to lead those I meet into a God-saved life. I did all this because of the Message. I didn't just want to talk about it; I wanted to be in on it!

and realized I have seen this verse in action. I have been taught to figure out peoples personalities and love languages so that I can meet them at their level also. This is a sermon I have seen lived out over and over and over!!! So being the good student I am:::beam::::I am going to try and meet her at her level and share my Jesus in the process:-) See why I am thankful for the people God has placed in my life that challenge me to grow closer to God?? I truly am blessed.

Thanks again for the prayers and the concern. I appreciate them more than you know! Enjoy your holiday weekend. I need to get little ones to bed because we are meeting a family from church in Red Rock Canyon tomorrow...that is if I don't get lost! ;-)

Sing with me!!

Hebrews 13:15-16 (New International Version)
15Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that confess his name. 16And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.

Notice it says with our LIPS give praise??!! It doesn't say with our feelings or heart or thoughts or any of that other stuff..it says a sacrifice of praise so I guess it wouldn't be a sacrifice if we felt like it:-) So get up and turn up your speakers and praise my Jesus with me...He is awesome:-)

Where did I go??

I know that is the question of the week lol I am here. My life has been INSANE this last month...kids came home, moved to a new home, school started with 3 kids in 3 different schools with 3 different bus routes! All of that makes for a stressful month for ANYone...add in the fact I am a single mom and some personal problems and I have been hanging on by a thread. I wish I could say I handle stress with grace but that wouldn't be truthful:-) I DO know where to go when I am hurting and I know He will always love me...warts and all:-) I don't think I will EVER understand why bad things happen but we aren't promised lives without problems...in fact, we are told there WILL be tribulation! I just have to quit listening to myself and the lies of the enemy and start talking back with the Word. I do know I am thankful for a church that preaches the Word and friends that live it...I am thankful for friends that don't listen when you try to push them away because you want to hurt alone...I am thankful for friends that literally drag you down to the altar because they know there is hope even when you can't see past the pain....I am thankful for friends that just love me and a God that will never leave me or forsake me even when I ask the hard questions and get angry. God loves us ALL that much!

For all of those who have called or emailed (even though I didn't answer) I APPRECIATED your prayers so much! I can't tell you how much it helped knowing that people were praying even if they didn't know why...God heard and I am beginning to see the light again:-)

Parents

My kids have been home a week now and I have spent the last week getting things done for school. I HATE waiting till the last minute but my kids have been in Florida all summer! To add to my stress my youngest will be at a different elementary school even though we live in the same zip code lol She is SOOOO excited but *I was NOT thrilled about having to go to the enrollment office...I did this two years ago when I moved here.....oh yeah on Aug 1st I was here TWO YEARS!! Can you believe that??!! Let me tell you God is soooo good!! I also changed the address for the other two while I was there and found out the new bus routes. The kids are beyond thrilled about our new home. In the past week I have taken them for hair cuts...can you believe they went ALL summer without them?!! Oh my word they looked scruffy! I also spent a lot of time shopping for shoes, clothes, backpacks etc. Every time I would pay I would think about the fact my parents had SEVEN of us! How could they afford 7 kids at school time?? I am struggling with just 3!! I thought about calling my parents to tell them thanks but here are the conversations I have had with them today...my parents lol not my kids:-) First my Mom left a voicemail on my cell that said "pick up...cmon pick up...I am not hanging up till you do...." ummmm Mom it isn't an answering machine;-) Then just now my Dad called my house and started asking me what I was doing. I told him we were home to eat dinner and then we were going swimming at a friends house. He acted busy and said "here talk to your Mother"...ok....so my Mom gets on the phone and asks me what I was doing and I told her the same stuff and she says..."call me back later cuz I need to put these groceries away and I am busy"....umm Mom YOU called ME lol She says "I didn't call you ! _____ did you call her?"....Anyway, there is no point to this post but I had to tell someone that my parents are insane;-) I never did get to thank them but after today I am thinking that school shopping causes you to lose brain cells. I know because at the store today I stopped in the middle and asked my kids what I was doing because I was so frazzled! So NOT kidding! Then at one point I told them we weren't there to look at toys...I was on a mission and several Moms laughed out loud so I guess I am not alone...school shopping IS stressful!!