Who knew wrestling could make me cry??

I have been doing really good with my children being gone for 6 WHOLE WEEKS! I keep telling myself that I have given this to God and He knows best and my children will be just fine...plus the majority of their time will probably be with my parents anyway. I am ok with that. The ex or stbx still works nights and you can't leave 3 children alone all day. It all sounds great huh? I will have a summer alone...free to do whatever I want...whenever I want....
Then someone PLEASE tell me why it hurts so dang bad??!! This morning when I went to wake up the boys...wait this AFTERNOON lol...my middle child said "it's Friday Mom!! do you know what that means?!!" and both boys yelled "FRIDAY NIGHT SMACKDOWN!!" and at first I laughed and then it hit me that this is the last Friday I will hear that...then I cried:*( Does their Daddy know that life stops at 7pm CST so they can watch wrestling?? does he know what their favorite snacks are? does he even know them? I know you are thinking I haven't even been gone a year and these are his kids but I gotta tell you he has worked nights for most of their lives so he wasn't home. I can't imagine not seeing their faces every night before I go to bed. I can't imagine them being so far that I can't just jump in the car and give them a hug. I think I was in denial that it would hurt this much. Every time they walk by me today I just squeeze them and think I am so gonna miss them:***( I am so not good with goodbyes....for those that talk to me on the phone here is your fair warning....do NOT ask me about my kids leaving unless you are prepared for the tears that will follow...I can't even fake this not hurting...these are MY babies and they are leaving in 5 days:**(