Rambling all the way to Nowhere:-)

I know I keep disappearing and I get quiet and quiet has NEVER been a word to describe me! Ok Jesi and Merci you can stop laughing!! I promise I wasn't purposely being quiet..I have just been very reflective lately and my online time has taken a backseat. I still go online to look up scriptures because http://www.biblegateway.com/ is one of my favorite websites! I have a friend/mentor/sister that challenges me to grow in my walk with Christ so there are encouraging emails full of scripture that go back and forth and I need the internet for the different versions..... and I pay my bills online;-) I just haven't done the regular "how are you doing?" emails because I can't....There are soooooo many things going on in my heart right now and I am trying to sort them all out. I keep telling myself that this is nothing God can't handle and I know He will....in His time:-) My job is just to trust Him. It is scary when something happens to rock your world but in another way it shows you what you believe in and who you will trust in a crisis. I quickly found out where I stand:-/ Again I wish I could say I handle stress with grace but I don't. I have issues with trust and as much as I try NOT to live by feelings there are days that I still do. I am a work in progress but I am getting better! I can actually see progress and that is a good thing! I wasted a couple of weeks living by feelings until a dear friend gave me some tough love. She is that Proverbs 17 Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend type of friend. I am SOOO thankful that she doesn't allow pit dwelling or negative speech to come out of my mouth or I might still be there. I am also thankful for friends that call and make me laugh..I so miss you Jesi!!! Now instead of pit dwelling I am filling my mind with the promises of God and standing on that. One of the things that I am praying comes out of all of this is that my love walk with others will be stronger. I have learned how invaluable my friends are and how thankful I am for my church family. I have seen people be the body of Christ in ways I can't describe. One of the things that has blessed me so much is when someone sees what MY love language is and meets me there. I am complicated because I don't show love the way that I feel loved so some people get confused as to what my actual love language is. I show love by words of affirmation or doing for others (acts of service) or with gifts but I FEEL loved with quality time. I don't need gifts or words and I don't need people to do for me...I just enjoy being with people. I don't get drained in a crowd...I get recharged! Anyway, all that to say I do appreciate everyone's concern but I will be fine...I am just working out some things with God...In fact, that is going to be my focus for the next three weeks because I am starting a DANIEL FAST on Tuesday ...why am I doing this you ask?? For one there are some breakthroughs I am praying for in my life and in the life of someone I feel called to intercede for and I believe it is in Matthew 17 that some things only come by prayer and fasting....AND I am also doing it because I have a muslim friend at work that starts her one month fast and out of respect for her a few of us are doing a modified version....I know I am not muslim but we have had a some in depth conversations about our beliefs and I am hoping this will open the door for some more. Also back in March I read this verse

1 Corinthians 9
19-23Even though I am free of the demands and expectations of everyone, I have voluntarily become a servant to any and all in order to reach a wide range of people: religious, nonreligious, meticulous moralists, loose-living immoralists, the defeated, the demoralized—whoever. I didn't take on their way of life. I kept my bearings in Christ—but I entered their world and tried to experience things from their point of view. I've become just about every sort of servant there is in my attempts to lead those I meet into a God-saved life. I did all this because of the Message. I didn't just want to talk about it; I wanted to be in on it!

and realized I have seen this verse in action. I have been taught to figure out peoples personalities and love languages so that I can meet them at their level also. This is a sermon I have seen lived out over and over and over!!! So being the good student I am:::beam::::I am going to try and meet her at her level and share my Jesus in the process:-) See why I am thankful for the people God has placed in my life that challenge me to grow closer to God?? I truly am blessed.

Thanks again for the prayers and the concern. I appreciate them more than you know! Enjoy your holiday weekend. I need to get little ones to bed because we are meeting a family from church in Red Rock Canyon tomorrow...that is if I don't get lost! ;-)

Sing with me!!

Hebrews 13:15-16 (New International Version)
15Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that confess his name. 16And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.

Notice it says with our LIPS give praise??!! It doesn't say with our feelings or heart or thoughts or any of that other stuff..it says a sacrifice of praise so I guess it wouldn't be a sacrifice if we felt like it:-) So get up and turn up your speakers and praise my Jesus with me...He is awesome:-)

Where did I go??

I know that is the question of the week lol I am here. My life has been INSANE this last month...kids came home, moved to a new home, school started with 3 kids in 3 different schools with 3 different bus routes! All of that makes for a stressful month for ANYone...add in the fact I am a single mom and some personal problems and I have been hanging on by a thread. I wish I could say I handle stress with grace but that wouldn't be truthful:-) I DO know where to go when I am hurting and I know He will always love me...warts and all:-) I don't think I will EVER understand why bad things happen but we aren't promised lives without problems...in fact, we are told there WILL be tribulation! I just have to quit listening to myself and the lies of the enemy and start talking back with the Word. I do know I am thankful for a church that preaches the Word and friends that live it...I am thankful for friends that don't listen when you try to push them away because you want to hurt alone...I am thankful for friends that literally drag you down to the altar because they know there is hope even when you can't see past the pain....I am thankful for friends that just love me and a God that will never leave me or forsake me even when I ask the hard questions and get angry. God loves us ALL that much!

For all of those who have called or emailed (even though I didn't answer) I APPRECIATED your prayers so much! I can't tell you how much it helped knowing that people were praying even if they didn't know why...God heard and I am beginning to see the light again:-)

Parents

My kids have been home a week now and I have spent the last week getting things done for school. I HATE waiting till the last minute but my kids have been in Florida all summer! To add to my stress my youngest will be at a different elementary school even though we live in the same zip code lol She is SOOOO excited but *I was NOT thrilled about having to go to the enrollment office...I did this two years ago when I moved here.....oh yeah on Aug 1st I was here TWO YEARS!! Can you believe that??!! Let me tell you God is soooo good!! I also changed the address for the other two while I was there and found out the new bus routes. The kids are beyond thrilled about our new home. In the past week I have taken them for hair cuts...can you believe they went ALL summer without them?!! Oh my word they looked scruffy! I also spent a lot of time shopping for shoes, clothes, backpacks etc. Every time I would pay I would think about the fact my parents had SEVEN of us! How could they afford 7 kids at school time?? I am struggling with just 3!! I thought about calling my parents to tell them thanks but here are the conversations I have had with them today...my parents lol not my kids:-) First my Mom left a voicemail on my cell that said "pick up...cmon pick up...I am not hanging up till you do...." ummmm Mom it isn't an answering machine;-) Then just now my Dad called my house and started asking me what I was doing. I told him we were home to eat dinner and then we were going swimming at a friends house. He acted busy and said "here talk to your Mother"...ok....so my Mom gets on the phone and asks me what I was doing and I told her the same stuff and she says..."call me back later cuz I need to put these groceries away and I am busy"....umm Mom YOU called ME lol She says "I didn't call you ! _____ did you call her?"....Anyway, there is no point to this post but I had to tell someone that my parents are insane;-) I never did get to thank them but after today I am thinking that school shopping causes you to lose brain cells. I know because at the store today I stopped in the middle and asked my kids what I was doing because I was so frazzled! So NOT kidding! Then at one point I told them we weren't there to look at toys...I was on a mission and several Moms laughed out loud so I guess I am not alone...school shopping IS stressful!!

These are a few of my favorite things....

I have the BEST friends EVAH!! Check out a few of my housewarming gifts:-) If you knew how much I love doing the lawn you will understand lol And yes those are Maytag front loading washer/dryers! God is sooooooooooooooo good! disclaimer-these are not my actual products but pictures I found online to show you what they look like:-)

My babies!!

are on their way home!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my word I am so excited!! I haven't been able to post because I couldn't tell y'all this till they were on their way home AND I have been staying with a friend for the last two weeks so I couldn't.
I moved!
The kids have NO CLUE and it is a surprise so don't anybody tell them;-) I can't wait to see their faces when they walk in and realize this is our stuff lol I was with a friend two weeks ago and saw this place and God was all over the details so here we are! It has been a whirlwind the last two weeks and God has BLESSED me beyond measure. I believe I have the greatest friends in the world. I have had only one arm to work with...LOOOOOOOOOONG story that I am not getting into..........and my friends moved EVERYTHING for me. One of them even shelf papered my cabinets and scrubbed toilets...how amazing is that??!!! I have felt humbled and yet loved in ways I have never felt. I can't even express how blessed I am. God is so good! Ok I have cookies to bake and things to do before my babies come home.....YAY!! Tonight I get to hug their necks and thank God I don't have to do that for another year:-D I hate divorce~~

I'm back!

Again:-)
I am so happy to be home. Isn't it weird that no matter how much fun you are having it is ALWAYS nice to be in your own bed??!! Here I was in this great place with access to a pool and hot tub and I missed home! I did have a VERY restful time and was able to read a lot and just spend some alone time with God...I think I needed that more than even I knew! Being a single Mom takes A LOT out of you. I guess I have gotten so used to it I forgot what being rested felt like!! I was able to read A LOT and not for pleasure but for growth. It is amazing what I am still learning. I have been saved since I was 12 but the things God is showing me NOW just blow me away. I believe just being out of my situation and the strongholds being broken have freed me up to be the woman God created me to be... so WATCH OUT world;-) I am learning what my gifts are so I can be used and a couple of the books I read were on that. Interesting stuff. I won't go into all of that but God is doing so much in my life and my heart....I will never be the same:-) God is just soooooo amazing! And I am love all over again:-D

See ya next week!

I get the pleasure of house sitting for some friends at church. Not just ANY house either...this one is HUGE with a 4 car garage and a BEAUTIFUL yard that I can't wait to mow! oh yes I am!!! And they have a pool with sea salt instead of chlorine with a slide AND a waterfall...oh AND a HOT TUB!! Oh my word I am in heaven lol I don't know what I am going to do with myself! A yard to mow, water to play in, no tv or computer and plenty of books to read...outside! So if I don't answer emails it is because I am NOT home:-) Don't you all feel sorry for me at once lol

THIS SUNDAY!!!

Hey all of you American Idol fans!! LOOK WHO is coming to Lakeside on Sunday!!! Not to mention you could so meet ME and that would be worth it all lol Email me at Barbiemamato3@aol.com if you need more info or directions...and yes I know I am directionally challenged but I am sure I can figure it out!

Update on trip!!

First let me say I AM SOOOOO HAPPY TO BE HOME!!!

Wow!!! I don't even know where to start in telling you about my trip! I guess I should start with 3 months ago TODAY my friend/mentor took on the challenge of helping me "get on the other side of my pain" so I could be the woman God created me to be and "get on about my business"...3 months ago I sat in the prayer room with her at church and shared with her EVERYTHING (I don't do that!) and she made the commitment to walk through this with me..and she did!....I have been in counseling for a year this month and on meds for depression so it isn't like I haven't been trying kwim? I just didn't know what else TO DO:::shrug:::I was doing all I KNEW to do but that wasn't working....Anyway, God totally orchestrated the next few months...I was so hungry to learn and she was the willing vessel God used. He could have used anyone but most people don't listen to that still small voice.... I am thankful she did....I wonder if she knows how prophetic her words were 3 months ago when she said
And as I have told you all along........you are on the verge of something BIG......more than you can even dream up......not only will you get through this, but there is some BIG restoration coming ahead
In May she came over my place with some other prayer warriors and took authority in my home and the nightmares that I have had for almost 23yrs ended that night! GONE! In fact, A LOT has happened in the last few months on a spiritual level that I can't even explain. I have found my voice and figured out who *I* am and guess what? I actually like me! I have learned NOT to live by feelings but to make decisions and live by what Gods word tells me...I don't have to feel anything if I know the truth. The FACT is I have been hurt by those who shouldn't have hurt me but the TRUTH is I am a child of God and He loves me! He promises double for my trouble so I have learned to forgive, pray for them and then wait and expect my blessing;-) It's a comin!! I have also been released from counseling and I am OFF my meds..I haven't been happier than I am now!! EVER!!
So back to my trip....I was SOO nervous about going back and to be honest the first few days I was so homesick for Oklahoma! I wanted to come home!! BUT I made the decision that I was going to operate in truth and to take my thoughts captive...if I hadn't done that my thoughts would have become words and they would have become actions etc....I had to continuously pray my way through the trip but by the end I could see God was ALL OVER IT!! I knew I served a BIG God but I never expected all of this!!!...I only prayed I would get through the trip but God allowed restoration. I can look back at home with fond memories and know that I truly can do ANYTHING with God on my side..."when you face your fears you become FEARLESS" and I AM fearless! I serve a MIGHTY God and He loves me! Leaving my children was probably the hardest thing I did but my kids are very grounded in the Word and I have to believe that God will protect them from all the evil they are in....Plus my daughter is very outspoken and is preaching the Word at 8 yo lol Hands on the hips and all!! Gotta love having one child that is choleric!! My oldest also really stepped up to the plate and acknowledged he would have to be the spiritual head of the household while they are there...I just hate what divorce does to families but I KNOW my God can work it all out for good because we love Him!
Ok what am I leaving out??? hmmmm I went to Jacksonville, Fl for a few days before my parents and I drove to Ringgold, GA (about 8hrs)...my brother has a farm with a store on it to sell his product...we also sold at the Farmers Market! There is some big thing going on about tomatoes and salmonella so he was on TV (the Judy show??)and in the Chattanooga Times Free Press...it was the June 19th edition..front page of the B section and you can see my brother, Ken (yes! that really IS his name!) and my Mom. I was able to pick fresh veggies from the garden AND collect eggs from 200 chickens!! Stupid things kept pecking my hands!! Oh and a DUCK flew INTO my head!! I am NOT KIDDING!! I think that is why people yell "DUCK" and not bird or pigeon or chicken...just duck because they are stupid! So are chickens!! I can tell you this I AM NOT A FARMER!! Still it was nice to see family:-) We came home after a few days and I was able to see more old friends in Florida. On Monday we drove to Orlando for me to catch my flight...don't ask lol It had to do with market realignment and bankruptcy with the airline....anyway, after 18 hrs of traveling and delayed flights and LONG BUMPY flights I was home...my dear friend picked me up at 1am and I came home to CRASH IN MY BED...oh how great it feels to be HOME!! It felt great to go to MY church last night. I have missed everyone SO MUCH and I am SO EXCITED to be home...and on the other side of my pain:-)...God is SO GOOD! If *I* can get over all that I have been through and relearn some MAJOR things...ANYONE can! God truly is the God of restoration!!

YAY!!!

I am coming home tomorrow!!! I canNOT wait! So much has happened and God is SO GOOD but I already knew that lol

Ready To Fly

I think I am ready to fly:-)Those who know me well will understand why I picked this video lol I am extremely nervous about going back but I KNOW that God will be me and He won't leave me...plus I have a church and amazing friends here that I KNOW will be holding me up in prayer and just a phone call away. I just have to keep my focus on God and what He wants to happen on this trip! I am NOT the same Barbie that moved here almost 2 yrs ago. I am an Eagle Christian and I CAN do this because God is with me and promises to never leave me or forsake me....I will be just fine:-) And when I start feeling down I will see the butterflies painted on my toes to remind me that I AM FREE! That is a good feeling.....

It really IS the thought that counts!!!

I went to lunch with a friend/mentor/spiritual mom/sister yesterday ;-) I never walk away from her without being challenged to live a godly life or draw closer to God....On the way back I was joking about all the things I wish I could say or do while I am in Florida BUT I won't because...well....because you know that would be WRONG and I am a Christian! See how spiritual I am:-/ She looked at me and said "as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he" Talk about an OUCH moment!!! I KNOW I am not the only one that does that so I am going to share this with you! I know that when someone cuts you off in traffic you have thoughts of what you WANT to do...or when someone says something mean to you and even if you smile and do the right thing what really matters is what is in YOUR HEART! God looks on our heart! I came home and couldn't stop thinking about that ONE statement because that is what the Word does

"For the word of God is alive, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."

"All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness that the man of God may be complete, totally outfitted for all works of godliness"

I like this one in The Message Version

2 Timothy 3:16 (The Message)
Every part of Scripture is God-breathed and useful one way or another—showing us truth, exposing our rebellion, correcting our mistakes, training us to live God's way. Through the Word we are put together and shaped up for the tasks God has for us.

SOOOOOOO after really tearing into what the Bible says about our thought life I made a decision and I am going to challenge you to also pray about this and see if it applies to your life...

I have a game plan...for the next week I am going to examine ALL of my thoughts...not just my actions because some days they are different as you well know!! lol I am going to work on the renewing of my mind....I was trying to forget but really isn't renewing more about replacing the old thoughts and not just forgetting?? I may be correct in not responding to my thoughts but until I go beyond my thoughts to the attitude of my heart I am not doing anything...God looks on the heart and I need to also...if I don't see my thoughts as sin and replace them with the Word then I will NEVER be healed and that ain't happening cuz I have business to do;-)

So this week my prayer is......
"Search me O God, and know my heart. try me, and know my thoughts, and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

because... "as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he..."

Toe meets Vacuum

Scroll down to see the piercing I added;-)

I have a beautiful Dyson...it is my friend and we get along really well! Iwon't hold this against it! I also have a beautiful purple phone...don't ask me the features because I really ONLY care that it rings, text messages and is purple...frustrating for sales people but I know what I want:-)So my phone rings and I try to move to an area of the house that is QUIET...not an easy task around here! I decide to cut through my daughters bedroom and guess what is in the way??? yep my dyson!! So my big toe gets all twisted around...I continue with my conversation without making a peep but OH MY WORD it hurt!! We went to church and I tried to act like it didn't hurt but oh it did! On Thursday while driving around...it is my RIGHT foot so I need it!...I kept flinching so I decided to get it xrayed...ONLY because it IS the big toe!! It was broken but what do ya do when you need it?? I can't stop...I have a trip to plan and shopping to do and a pedicure to get...THAT is going to hurt dontcha think??? Anyway this is my pretty toe on Thursday



And this is today:-) Ain't it purty??? Know what I am going to do since I am already in pain??? I am going to get my belly button pierced lol

Edited*********I REALLY DID IT lol And it wasn't that bad! I won't mention that the guy stopped and said a bad word because I am thick skinned lol I think the look on Jesis face scared me more than it hurt...he said in ALL THE YEARS he has done this that he hasn't ever had a problem like that lol It took him 4 tries to get it ALL the way through! I am guessing that the gallbladder surgery may have given me some scar tissue ?? I don't know but it is pierced! Yep at 38:-P

Boys VS Girls

Just wanted to share the differences between raising girls and boys lol At least MINE:-) This is all of my kids at Cicis Pizza...cute huh? Let's look a little closer....

This is my 14yo plate...I know you are thinking he is going to waste it but trust me HE WON'T


This is my 11yo plate...again he won't waste his either

This is my 8yo dd plate...she LOVES salad so it is included in EVERY mealThis is the 14 finishing up his FIRST plate...yeah he went back!


This is the 11yo finishing up his first plate also...he only went back for two things and not a full plate

This is the 8yo finishing up her one and ONLY plate...not a big eater lolThis is the 14yo on his SECOND plate and notice he is eating two slices at a time @@




Can you imagine what my grocery bill is around here???? lol

School is OUT!

YAY! It's SUMMER VACATION!!!! The kids got out on Thursday but I didn't get out till Friday:-/ We did have a wonderful meal catered by the PTA and I had BARBEQUE!! Oh how I have missed barbeque lol I have this list of places that we NEED to visit when we go to Florida in a couple of weeks...things that I haven't found here that even compare...you know like SEAFOOD??? ;-) Seriously the kids and I went to Red Lobster with Jesica (please continue to pray for her) and her family last Saturday and my scallops were the size of a nickle!! I don't think I have EVER seen one that small! To be fair I haven't been to every restaurant here so I could be missing out on something amazing...feel free to tell me what I am missing:-) Lately I have been to a few new to me restaurants that have been wonderful.
Oh yeah I bought the plane tickets to Florida so we have dates. I am taking the kids a week before they have to be there so we can spend time with my family and I can take them some places before they go to see their Dad. I am also staying a week after so I will be there for two weeks! I was sooooooooo stressed about going for that long...you have to remember I haven't seen anyone since I moved here almost 2yrs ago. I left everything to start over and I can tell you I am NOT the same person that they remember. Wednesday night at church I let go of that stress and now I am ok...really ok.... I want my family to see God all over me and how much HE has done in our lives. Outwardly I might not look the same but it is what is on the inside that I want them to see. I want God to be glorified because He has done some amazing things in our lives! I also can't wait to visit my old church Evangel Temple Assembly of God I don't think I have mentioned on here but before I moved my ex and I went to counseling at this church. It was the the first time I had to sit across from someone and tell them ALL that we were going through. It was also the first time someone (that wasn't a friend) told me I should leave. I probably should have left years before but I believe the timing was all Gods so I don't regret staying. I needed to grow some more and I did. The kids are excited about flying since this will be their first time and none of us were looking forward to a two day car ride!! I flew to Oklahoma alone in 2006 so this isn't my first plane ride...it is my second lol Plus gas prices are just insane right now! Oh my word I am going to be walking everywhere soon! I have SO much to do since we are leaving in just a couple of weeks! I have so much shopping to do but with my personal shopper it will be easy and FUN lol I have to buy luggage for the kids and myself since he kept all of that. I also need to get my hair done...I keep changing the color and I can't decide WHAT I want. I don't even know what my natural color is anymore! I think I am going to figure that out and then have it highlighted or something. I am sure I will change my mind several times before I do something! My friend that sells Mary Kay is also going to do a makeover on me:-D Fun stuff huh?? There are some not so fun things I need to do also like go through the kids rooms and their clothes to see where we are for school shopping BEFORE they leave. And clean everything!! I am not dreading this summer like I was last year...last year was the first time I had ever been away from my kids but this year I am ok. They have grown so much also and I believe they will be just fine...In some ways I am actually looking forward to it! I have friends that I love and I have some more growing to do and I think the time alone will be a good thing. I am learning who I am in Christ and....well, who *I* am and that is good thing. I have wasted way too many years of my life trying to please everyone else and now it is time to JUST please God. I also have a yard to play in and that is SO COOL! I am so enjoying yardwork!! I can't believe how MUCH I missed it! There aren't too many things better than the smell of a freshly mowed lawn and feeling that Oklahoma wind on ya while you do it;-) Life is good. My future looks pretty bright and I won't forget my shades;-) (that was for you C lol)

I have been asked in email what I plan on doing about dating and here are my thoughts on that:-) They are subject to change at God's leading!
I do NOT plan on dating again anytime soon. To be 100% honest I am REALLY enjoying my freedom right now. I was thinking about how the Bible always says you will get double for your trouble and something Joyce Meyers said the other day really rang true in my spirit...she was talking about how she never really had a happy childhood but she was having one now at sixty something and having twice as much fun!! lol THAT is how I feel! I have learned to enjoy shopping and getting pedicures and tanning and doing things that I SHOULD have done as a teen like laughing with my friends until late at night watching old home movies!....but instead I was busy being an adult with adult responsibilities. Don't get me wrong I still have A LOT of responsibilities as a single Mom but I am also having FUN...LOTS OF FUN! God has blessed me not only with some amazing women friends but someone who has been my mentor and has helped me discover who I am in Christ. Someone to pray with and over me and direct me in the ways of Christ all while teaching me about love and friendship..... SOOOOOOOOOO right now my goal is to just be the woman that God created ME to be...and while working on that I am just going to focus on building some godly friendships with women and learn how to take down some walls...Until then men are not even close to being in my plans:-) And I am ok with that...

I love mail!!

My baby boy has been at camp ALL WEEK!! I get to see him this afternoon and I can't even express how wonderful it will be to hold him!! Oh my word I have MISSED HIM! He wrote us a letter while he was at camp and I am going to type it just like he wrote it:-)

Dear Family,
I am having a really fun time at camp! We've gone fishing, canoeing, archery, stargazing and a little of everything! I miss you!! :-( At least I'll see you on Friday! :-) We haven't been talking at night time! (this is something I joked with him about) And guess what!! There are walls and curtains in the shower!!!! (again something I teased him about lol) Today we're going to dissect frogs! I slept good last night and I layed out my clothes for today. I brought everything I need and I'm in the same cabin as my friends. (something he was worried about) I love you! Miss you! Write me back!!
Love
The Great King_____ _______ _____ the 1st!

And keeping with his personality there are pictures drawn on the letter! It was SO GOOD to hear from him and I can't wait to see him! Hey notice he likes to use !!!!!!!!!!! just like Mama lol

Oops I disappeared!!

Wow life just got busy and I haven't had time to update! Not much has happened since my last post except I have found a yard I can play in and I am enjoying that SO MUCH!! I know those who know me well know I LOVE doing yard work! Seriously. LOVE. IT. It is one of my many quirks lol Oh and did I mention my middle child is at camp ALL WEEK! without ME!! I miss him already and it is quiet without him! He is my loud talker (hush Merci and Jesi!) so trust me it is too quiet here. My baby girl didn't want him to go because she would miss his comedy! I love my kids so much! I am so thankful that I have full custody...that was a BIG answer to prayer!!! God gets all the glory for that!!! The camp is for 5th graders and is a reminder that my baby boy will be in MIDDLE SCHOOL next year...and my first born will be in HIGH SCHOOL!! Someone slow them down! My daughter and I will be attending a
MOTHER/DAUGHTER TEA
MAY 10TH @ NOON
Congresswoman Mary Fallin - Guest Speaker
LAKESIDE FAMILY LIFE CENTER 6810 NW 122ND if you are close enough to attend. I believe the price is $12 for adults and $10 for children...you can email me for details if you are interested! I am so excited and a friend and her daughters will be performing something that I am sure will make me cry and laugh!
School gets out this month too! I still need to book our flights to Florida for summer visitation...this will be the kids first time on a plane! I guess that is all going on in my little world..I need to run and finish the dishes from dinner so I can go play in my friends yard again lol I feel like a little kid!! Oh how I have MISSED having a yard to mow!!

Date Update

Sarah asked in the comments about my date and I don't really know what to say...I will just post what I put on The Covering~ for Single Parents

Is this Normal?
For those who have gone through a divorce and started dating again…what is normal?? I went out with this REALLY nice guy last night…this is my first date since the divorce. He was the perfect gentleman and prayed and treated me like I was special. On the way home I bawled because I felt guilty. I felt like *I* was cheating even though the divorce is final. I DO NOT want my ex back BUT I still feel married I guess. Honestly I had NO clue I was going to feel that way and my emotions blindsinded me. I hate that. I guess I am not ready to date even though I have been in Oklahoma alone for almost 2 years. I don’t know if I even want to try again…EVER~